A Broken Road
by GoodCompletedTwiFic
Summary: EG Eli broke her heart once before, even if he didn't know it. Since then, Grace has carefully rebuilt her life without him in it. When they both return home for the holidays, Grace will have to remain resolute while Eli purposely tests her resolve.
1. Long Lost Dreams

**Author's Note: **This is my first attempt at E/G or O&A fanfiction. If I'm completely off base with their characterizations, please let me know.

* * *

It was December 22nd before Grace Manning realized Christmas was a mere three days away. That thought brought a definite sense of uncertainty to her being. She wasn't concerned about presents – she'd long ago bought something for everyone on her list. Lily Sammler was a big fan of the after Thanksgiving Day sales and dragged all three of her daughters out with her annually at four in the morning.

No, this uncertainty came from something a bit more… personal. Eli would be flying in Christmas Eve, like always, and he'd be at the house again until after New Years. It was one of the few times of the year they managed to be in the house together – Grace had gotten very good at wriggling her way out of family functions she knew he'd attend. Not to mention Eli had put almost 800 miles between them when he moved to New York. Christmas was the only holiday Grace could never successfully avoid and she'd been trying for five years now.

The weird thing was that she was over him. Grace Manning had long ago walked away from the dream that Eli Sammler would ride up on a white horse and take her away from her life. He'd successfully shattered that fantasy New Years 2004. It started the night Grace lost her virginity.

Eli had been so patient with her, so gentle, and Grace had stupidly believed it meant something. She thought the way he kissed her, the way he loved her, changed something between them. And the worst part was that Eli let her believe it. When he'd boarded his plane back to New York two days later, she'd been so sure about his whispered promises. Sure, he'd whispered them in the bedroom, but that didn't matter. Right?

After three weeks of nothing, Grace had become desperate. She needed to know what was going on – why hadn't he called? – so she took a flight to New York. Jessie had volunteered Eli's address easily (of course, she thought Grace was sending him a birthday card) and Grace was off on her quest. Only, at the end of her journey she found some brunette named Shelley with big, brown eyes. Grace hadn't waited around for explanations, immediately returning to the airport and catching a red-eye back to Chicago. She hadn't seen him again until nearly a year later – Christmas.

For two days everything she'd wanted since she was fourteen years old was hers, but then real life started again. Her very real, very cruel life started again. After classes started again at school, Grace threw herself into the wholeheartedly. She'd changed her major from theatre to anthropology to remove the hold Eli had over her. Her acting was something in the past, just like Eli.

Grace knew she'd changed her whole life to get away from Eli – the life she'd wanted before had a place for him in it and she couldn't leave a place for him in her future. Then, a little bit at a time she started to forget him. Three months after the New York fiasco, she found herself wondering if his eyes were brown or green – she honestly couldn't remember. Then, she forgot the way he smelled. What cologne did he prefer? She forgot the way he made her laugh, the way only he could make her laugh. She forgot the way he loved Jessie. She forgot so much the only thing she remembered was the lock he wore around his neck. It was the one thing that defined him to her. That lock symbolized how he locked people who wanted to love him out of his life, but also how he locked himself up inside. Only Eli would find something so perfect.

Grace was pulled from her thoughts when Professor Novak walked in. "Are you still here?" the older woman asked.

She smiled at her mentor. "I was just getting my things together."

The older woman observed her for a moment. "Ah. It looked like you might be reminiscing."

"Doing a bit of that as well," she admitted. "Though I'm not sure why. The person I was thinking about has been out of my life for so long…knowing him is like a distant memory to me."

Grace blushed when her professor didn't reply. "Are you all packed for Peru?"

"Yes." She walked over to her desk, needing to check a few things before her flight. "No chance you've changed your mind, is there? I would really like an assistant on this trip."

"You have Phillip." Grace ignored the exasperated look the professor shot her. "It's his time to shine – his field test. Mine will come soon enough."

"I suppose your right. Still, I'm not sure why Phillip couldn't have his field test with his own supervisor."

The younger woman didn't say anything. She'd heard this complaint a few times over the last three months – since Professor Dunne had pulled out of the Peru excavation. "You'll only be there for three weeks. Besides, once you get to the site you'll hardly notice Phillip. You're not going to baby-sit, Professor, you're going on a dig. And though you haven't admitted it, I know you're excited."

Grace was, of course, correct. The university supervisor did not need to tell her that, however. "Any other plans for the holiday?"

The brunette shrugged. "Working on my thesis. My mom has only announced plans for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Years Eve. I'm sure we'll do things during the other time – but I don't plan on just tossing my responsibilities aside for the whole holiday."

"Make sure you have some fun," the professor instructed. "It is supposed to be a vacation."

Grace smiled. "I will." She wanted to say more, but the telephone rang. Professor Novak picked it up and spoke to the person on the other line. When she hung up, she continued rummaging through the papers on her desk. "Did you lose something?"

The blonde nodded and blushed. "My passport."

"Problem solved." Grace dug into the second desk drawer and produced the small black book. "Do you need a ride to the airport?"

"The taxi is waiting for me as we speak. I just came in for this." She glanced down at her watch. "Is that the time? I should go," she apologized.

Grace waved the apology away. She took her leather bag and slung it over one shoulder. "I'll walk you out."

Once they were outside, Professor Novak wrapped one arm around Grace's shoulder and repeated her instructions from earlier. "Have some fun, kiddo. You deserve it."

The brunette nodded her head. "I will. If you need anything, call me and I'll get it to you. Enjoy the dig." Her supervisor hugged her once more before climbing into the back of the taxi. The yellow car lurched away from the curb quickly, but Grace didn't leave immediately. She stood there waiting until she could no longer see the car.

For some reason, she wished she was going to Peru this Christmas.

* * *

When she got back to her apartment, the first thing Grace did was toe off her tennis shoes. As comfortable as they were, nothing was better than sinking her feet into the plush carpeting of her living room. Sometimes she liked being spoiled.

She went to the kitchen in search of food, and saw the light on her answering machine blinking. It was odd – no one ever used that phone. She made sure her cell was with her at all times. One of the benefits of being a research assistant was having an easy-going boss and flexible hours. "Probably telemarketers," she mumbled. Still, she hit the button.

At first she heard nothing on the message, she silence. It didn't last for more than ten seconds before whoever it was hung up, but it was a bit odd. Grace immediately pick up her phone and started scanning through the Caller-ID. She frowned when she saw the last four telephone calls came from a blocked number. The second message was odd as well. There was more silence, but Grace could hear some noise in the background. It was… she bit her lip, concentrating. Was that someone breathing?

"Grace—" she heard, right before the machine beeped.

She stared at her machine oddly for a moment before pushing the 'erase' button. Whoever it wasn't hadn't called to leave another message. It probably wasn't important anyway. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling…

Sighing, Grace reached for the handset and immediately called home. Her mom picked up after the second ring and Grace asked, "Did you call my apartment today?"

Lily answered that she hadn't and Grace explained the two silent messages she'd received to her mother. After a moment or two, both of them agreed it was likely a telemarketer and wasn't anything to worry about. Before she'd gotten off the phone, Lily had asked her to come over for dinner no less than three times. Her daughter had refused, but finally relented and agreed to spend tomorrow and Christmas Eve at her childhood home.

When they hung up, Grace went back to her refrigerator in search of food. There wasn't anything edible – a two-week-old opened bag of salad and old chicken. She regretted for a moment turning down the home-cooked meal from her mother. Still, she could eat take-out one night if it meant having a bit of privacy and some alone time. Happy with her decision, Grace reached for the drawer where she kept the menus.

* * *

Eli Sammler's flight arrived on time – 5:34 p.m. – at O'Hare International Airport on Christmas Eve. Because her mother and Rick had a 'prior commitment' Grace was sent to the airport to retrieve him. It wasn't something she was happy about.

She waited patiently for him in front of baggage claim, like her mother instructed, wondering if she'd even recognize him. Karen and Jessie liked to gush and say he'd gotten even handsomer, but Grace didn't think that was possible. Eli Sammler reached his peek at age 17 – it was the last time she could think fondly of him. After that, his good looks started to fade in her opinion, right along with his taste.

Grace felt him before she saw him. From somewhere behind her, she heard a laugh that was so distinctly male she knew deep down it must be Eli's. Before turning to greet her stepbrother, Grace made a promise she'd be civil towards him at least. It was Christmas after all.

She heard someone gasp and then blushed when she realized it was her. Though she still didn't like him, Karen and Jessie weren't exactly wrong. Eli looked very… prosperous. He was wearing a collared white shirt under a black suit jacket. Grace noticed immediately he wasn't wearing a tie. Sitting low on his hips were tailored dress slacks, a shiny black belt rested against his stomach. The clean black shoes he wore and a leather bag thrown over his right shoulder completed the look. Grace searched her memory for his job – it was something in the music business, wasn't it? – as he approached. She released the breath she'd been holding when he was just a few feet in front of her. Grace Manning felt like she was seeing Eli Sammler for the first time in years. Her brown eyes closed as she took a deep breath before giving him a shaky smile.

There was nothing shaky about the smile she received in return, she noticed. Eli gave her the silly little grin she always felt he reserved especially for her. "Hey, you." He wrapped his left arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his body. Grace felt her eyes flutter close again when he kissed her temple. "I thought Lily was picking me up."

She counted to five in her mind before she turned to face him. "Rick's firm is having their Christmas party tonight. Everyone else seemed to have plans as well, so Mom sent me."

Eli felt himself deflate when he realized Grace wasn't given a choice. He dropped his hand back to his side and turned towards the baggage carousel. "My case should be here soon."

"Guitar?" she inquired. "Can't leave home without it, can you?"

He grinned at her. "You know it. But I did actually bring some clothes to change into this year."

Grace found herself wondering if they were all like the clothes he was wearing now. It they were, she was in serious, serious trouble. Eli looked good enough to eat in the dress suit.

They stood facing the moving carousel together, silence falling between them. After what felt like an eternity, Eli stepped forward to claim his guitar case and another, larger suitcase. Grace saw immediately he was struggling with balancing all three bags and took pity on him. "Need some help?"

He gently sat the guitar on the floor and offered her the bag slung over his right shoulder. "Thanks."

She nodded before turning around. "Follow me, my car is in temporary parking."

Eli intentionally fell behind as she took off. He dropped his head to the side and watched as she moved around in her denim jeans. He'd always thought she was… pretty, but not in traditional ways. What she was lacking in the beauty department, she more than made up for with the air of confidence she carried with her. He realized he was falling further behind than he liked, and Eli walked briskly towards her. When he fell in-step next to her, he suddenly realized it was going to be a very long week and a half.

He let out a low whistle when he saw the black Honda Accord she was driving. "Little sister is moving up in the world, huh?"

Grace blushed. "Mom and Rick gave me the down payment for my graduation in May. I love this car."

"It suits you," he told her. Grace used the hand remote to open the trunk. Eli sat his guitar on the ground again and put his suitcase into the trunk. His guitar followed. When Grace started to put the bag she was holding beside the guitar, Eli stopped her. "My laptop's in there. I prefer to keep it with me."

"Okay."

He took it from her. "It's just… if I get inspired, I like to have it handy."

"Yes, because a trip down I-90 always inspires me as well," she joked. He let the comment slide, and Grace sobered. "No more writing lyrics on diner napkins?"

"After the second time I threw out a damn good song, I bought myself one of these. Now I never leave home without it."

Once they were both inside and their seat belts were fastened, Grace started the car. She looked over at Eli and asked, "Any stops before we get home?"

Home, Eli wondered. Did he even have a home? "I could eat. You had dinner?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Want to go by my dad's place?"

"Sounds good." As the car started to move, Eli laid his head back against the headrest and exhaled. He closed his eyes and listened to Grace as she softly sang along to the CD. "Howie Day, huh?"

"I love this CD. I have a few copies, so I'm never without it."

He cracked an eye open. "You're serious?"

Grace nodded. "Yep."

"You're cracked," he told her affectionately.

"You're my brother, Eli. That doesn't speak very highly of you either."

"No, this is all Manning, I have no doubt."

She laughed at him. "As if you've never had a CD – or a song – that you loved. C'mon, E, I know you way better than that."

She was right, he knew. Granted he didn't want to admit it to her. "Never something I listen to continuously."

"So you don't have your absolute favorite songs loaded on your iPod?"

"Of course, what's the point if I didn't—"

"And you don't take that iPod with you everywhere?"

"I do."

"So, in a sense, you have your favorite songs at your fingertips. Me too, just in a less conventional way."

Eli was about to reply when Grace's cell phone rang. She picked it up a talked for a few moments before hanging up. She immediately started changing lanes. "Mom. She needs me to pick something up for her at the mall. You mind?"

He shrugged. "Nope. I need to get something there myself."

"Why didn't you say something before?"

"Didn't want to you to go out of your way. I would have just come back later." He put his head back again as Grace took the familiar route to the mall. His hazel eyes were closed and Eli contented himself with listening to the soft lull in Grace's voice. At least she wasn't out of tune.

The mall was full of last minute shoppers. Eli said he knew where he was going, though he wouldn't tell Grace. He'd only said it was a surprise for Lily, and he didn't want it to be spoiled. They agreed to meet at the car in twenty minutes and they both went their separate ways.

Her first few steps away from him were shaky. She was beginning to question her thoughts from the day before. Being around Eli… well, it certainly wasn't good for her sanity. He was family, though. After today and tomorrow, she'd return to her apartment and he'd be staying at her mom's. She probably wouldn't see him again until New Years Eve. She could do this. She had to do this.

Eli was waiting for her when she got to the car. He was standing very still as the wind cut through the thin jacket he wore. Grace rushed forward and quickly unlocked the car. "I'm sorry! I forgot how cold the wind could be."

"My fault. Left my coat in New York. I'll be fine."

Grace slid her eyes over him, noticing he wasn't carrying any bags. "Whatever you bought, must have been small. Jewelry, maybe?"

"I'm not telling you. Let's go eat, I'm starving."

When they arrived at her father's restaurant, the parking lot was overflowing. There was a line, but luckily Tiffany saw them. She waved them forward, looking overwhelmed. "Tonight's not a good night, Gracie. There'll be a wait."

Grace nodded and moved back towards the end of the line. It took her a moment to realize Eli wasn't following. "Are you sure there isn't one tiny table with two chairs," he asked. "It can even be in the corner next to the kitchen."

Tiffany looked at the young man in front of her. Over the years, she'd developed a bit of a soft spot for him. There was something about Eli that cried out to the mother in her. "Eli—"

"I haven't eaten since breakfast this morning. Could you just check again?"

She smiled, giving in. "Give me a second." When she returned, Tiffany was holding two menus in her hand. "Follow me."

Grace laughed softly at her stepmother and Eli, but followed after them anyway. Their table was exactly where Eli requested it be – in the back, by the kitchen. It was very intimate and Grace exhaled slowly. She was going to sit there, with Eli? Suddenly this seemed like a very bad idea.

He helped her with her coat and waited until she was seated before taking his own seat. Grace eyed him carefully. "Did someone send you to finishing school in New York?"

"More like obedience school," he teased. Eli was pleased with himself when Grace laughed. He liked seeing her laugh. "I got tired of being an ass."

"When?"

"Three years ago. I realized it was getting me nowhere. A friend was trying to help me get a job and I didn't want to accept it. Finally, she left me no choice. I'm grateful for that."

The brunette nodded. Though it hurt her it was a woman who helped him understand he didn't need to go through life with a chip on his shoulder, she was glad he finally learned that lesson.

As the evening passed, they got lost in conversation. It'd been a year since they'd spoken at all and talking always seemed natural to both of them. In a lot of ways, Grace and Eli were the only two in the Manning/Sammler family who completely understood each other. That wasn't always a good thing, but for the most part it worked.

Halfway through the meal, Jake came to their table. Grace stood and hugged her father and Eli shook his hand. Jake was surprised at Eli. A young man who obviously knew where his life was going had suddenly replaced the scrawny kid his daughter had the crush on in high school. He'd never cared much either way for Rick's son, but it made him proud in some way. Of course, Jake found that he wasn't completely surprised. Grace had seen something in him a long time ago. It might have taken a few years for Eli to figure it out himself, but it was always there.


	2. Dawn Breaking Through

**Part II: Dawn Breaking Through**

After dinner, Grace drove back to her mother's house. They got out of the car, Grace helping Eli by carrying his laptop again. When he saw she didn't have any bags of her own, Eli asked, "Are you going home tonight?"

"No. I've already dropped my stuff off."

"You live here, though."

"I live in Evanston, near campus."

Eli nodded. "Right. Northwestern girl."

"That's me." Grace looked away from him, slightly uncomfortable by his gaze. "I'll go home after tomorrow."

"Oh." He paused for a moment. "Any chance I can see your apartment?"

Her head jerked up and she met his eyes across the top of the car. "You want to?"

He smiled at her. "A brother has to know where his sister lives."

"Oh. Right." Grace tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, I'll take you over tomorrow if you want."

Once they were inside, Eli was whisked away by the females of the house. Jessie was waiting for her brother at the door.

Grace left his bag next to the rest of his things and got a bottle of water from the kitchen. She settled on the couch, listening to Jessie talking animatedly to her older brother. The brunette leaned her head back and exhaled. That was difficult. Zoë sat down to her a moment later. "Eli got hot."

Her older sister laughed. "Most people think Eli's always been hot, Zo."

"Yourself included."

"Touché." Grace looked over at her sister and smiled. "Not anymore, though."

Zoë rolled her eyes. "You're telling me Eli Sammler doesn't affect you anymore. Seriously?"

She nodded. "Seriously." Taking a swallow of her water, Grace continued, "The fantasy gets old. He's our stepbrother and it's not like anything could have come from it. I'm happy now, Zoë."

The younger girl reached over and hugged her. "Gracie, I want to be just like you when I grow up."

"Oh look, E, the Manning's are having a Kodak moment. Get the camera." Jessie left her brother standing in the doorway and settled on the other side of Grace. She smiled brightly at her. "Hey big sister."

Grace laughed at Jessie, but gratefully accepted the title. They'd grown close Jessie's senior year in high school. Grace knew moving out of the house into a dorm helped a lot. Neither of them felt trapped by the rules of the mixed family – they were no longer required to like each other, but soon found they did anyway. Over the last five years, they'd only grown closer. Jessie, Zoë, and Grace were all very close, even though Zoë was still in high school.

When she graduated high school, Jessie briefly considered following Grace to Northwestern. She spent a lot of time with Grace while she was deciding, but ultimately choose the University of Wisconsin. They offered her a better scholarship deal and allowed her to create her own schedule. The distance seemed to bring the family closer together.

Eli left for New York when his sister graduated high school – it was time to find his own place in the world. He found a job at a bar willing to rent him a room upstairs. Eli did that for a year and a half, as he struggled to make his way in the music world. Since he was seven years old he'd never doubted he wanted to be a musician, but he'd also never considered how hard it might be. New York was a scary place – especially with no family or support group. Eventually, though, he started to make friends and contacts. He dated a girl who got him an interview with Sony Records and suddenly he was in. While the talent agent he met with wasn't looking for another John Mayer or Gavin DeGraw, he liked Eli's writing style.

The guy decided to give him a chance and after two years he was working with John Mayer and Gavin DeGraw. It wasn't exactly how he imagined it might be, but it was close enough. His words were still out there and that was enough. Things were finally settled professionally, and now it was time to pay some attention to his personal life. He eyed Grace and wondered if she'd meant what she said to Zoë. She no longer had that silly little crush on him? That was news.

Zoë contented herself with being surrounded by her family. While it wasn't traditional, she was grateful for the Sammler's coming into their life. Her mom was happier than she'd ever been with Rick. Suddenly she had an older brother and two older sisters and a few years later Lily had a baby boy. Will Sammler was only six, but Zoë was already sure he'd be as much of a heartbreaker as Eli. She'd been lonely when Grace left, then lonelier when Jessie and Eli left a year later. She still saw her family on a regular basis, but it was hard. After being surrounded by such love for such a long time, it was a difficult adjustment. Zoë pushed those thoughts from her mind and shifted her attention to Jessie. She and Grace were comparing horror stories about finals. In just a few more years, Zoë was sure she'd be able to join the conversation.

Lily and Rick found them like this. Their children (except Will who was with them) sitting around the living room, laughing and talking. Lily looked back at Rick and smiled. Somehow, through it all, they'd become a family. A very happy family.

She put Will down and went to hug her stepson. "Did you get in okay?"

Eli smiled. "Yeah, thanks. Grace got me home without a problem." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Grace blush. Was she as over it as she claimed?

"Did you eat? I could make you something."

"We stopped at Dad's," Grace answered. "Eli charmed Tiffany into giving us a table and Dad gave us free food. Mom, I put the stuff you wanted me to get in the hall closet."

"Thanks, Gracie."

Rick stepped around his wife and enveloped his son in a tight hug. "I'm glad you're home."

"Thanks Dad."

Shortly afterwards, the family split up, each of them doing their own thing. Eli took his bags to the garage and settled into the room that would again be his home for the next week. He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. It was good to be home again.

Grace wandered out to the garage a few hours later, wondering where Eli was. Since disappearing to his room, he'd never returned. She was wrapped in a house robe and wore bedroom slippers on her feet, but she wasn't concerned. It was just Eli she was going to see. Grace heard the music coming from his room, and knocked gently.

Eli sat the guitar aside, knowing who it was already. Grace was the only one who visited him at this time of night. He opened the door and let her in. "Hey."

"Hey." She shifted nervously, her eye straying towards his bed. It was unmade. "Were you asleep?"

"No. I slept some earlier, though. I'll be up for hours now. What's up?"

The brunette shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. Thought I might see if anyone else was awake. I saw your light from outside."

"So you knew I wasn't asleep."

"I also heard you playing. Working on a new song?"

"Nah. Just messing around. I still like to play, even though I don't get paid."

"Do you think you might like to become a famous singer someday?"

He looked at her and shook his head. "I don't know, Grace. I used to think so, but nothing compares to hearing a song I worked on out there. I wouldn't throw that away for anything."

"Good. I'm glad you're happy."

"It's weird," he continued, "I never thought this would happen. I hoped, I prayed, and I dreamed – but I was never sure enough of myself to believe it might happen. Music was the only thing I cared about, the only thing really important to me other than family, so it's nice to be living my dream."

She watched him, amazed. Eli was a new man – gone was the boy who fought with his father and worried about the future. Gone was the boy who didn't come to her play that night. In his place was this new person. A person Grace found herself liking a lot.

"Are you?" he asked suddenly. "Happy, I mean."

Grace waited a minute, trying to decide if she was. There were definitely things missing from her life, but she was happy with herself. She loved her work and her life. "I am. It took me a long time to realize that."

"Why?"

"College changed my life. Getting out of this house changed my life. I became a stronger person because of it. Now, I have a very routine, boring life but I love what I'm doing. I have friends and family who love me and people I love in return. In the end, that's all you have in life. Those are the things that make you happy."

"I'm glad," he told her. They sat in silence for a few moments before Eli reached for his guitar. He plucked a few strings here and there, but didn't play anything. He glanced over at the alarm clock and smiled. "It's Christmas. I have a present for you."

"What?"

Eli pointed to the clock that read 12:05 and repeated, "It's Christmas. I have something for you."

"I have something for you, too. It's under the tree downstairs." Grace stood. "I can go get it, if you want."

"No," he stopped her. "This is something I couldn't wrap up. Sit down and listen."

The brunette returned to his bed, sitting so she faced him. She smiled as he started plucking at his guitar strings. Soon she recognized the tune he was playing and laughed. "Howie Day."

"Yep. You were singing this song in the car."

Grace listened happily as Eli started the first verse of _Collide_. His voice was strong and she wondered if he knew the song already. He messed up the notes once, but Grace only noticed because she knew the song well. What impressed her most was that he didn't get angry and stop playing. He only smiled at her and played through it.

When he finished, Grace smiled. "Thank you."

Eli pushed the guitar aside and sang quietly.

_Even the best fall down sometimes __  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find, you and I collide._

* * *

The entire house learned two years ago that there would be no sleeping past seven on Christmas morning. Will made sure of it. Grace groaned when her alarm went off, but she got out of bed. Before she went to bed the night before, she'd taken care to put out her toothbrush and toothpaste, her face wash, and a towel. She could shower later, but there was no way she was going downstairs with morning breath.

Ten minutes later she was greeted by Zoë and Jessie both coming out of their rooms, each looking equally sleepy. "It's no fair, I'm on vacation," Zoë complained.

"It's for Will," Grace reminded them both. "Remember that." Grace shared a smile with Jessie, knowing her stepsister loved getting up early on Christmas morning. "You can both sleep later today."

Will, Lily, and Rick were already downstairs. The adults were sipping coffee and the boy lit up when he saw the three girls. "Can we open 'em now?"

Lily shook her head. "We're still waiting for Eli."

"I'm here," a sleepy voice answered. Grace looked back and then immediately wished she hadn't. It wasn't possible for someone to look so… edible this early in the morning. Besides, he was completely dressed in a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. It was the hair, she decided. His bed-head was going to be her undoing.

They took their time passing out the gifts, only allowing one to be opened at a time. Everyone admired the presents. From her mom and Rick Grace received various gift cards to her favorite stores. Zoë gave her a coffee cup she'd made in school. She was most amused by Jessie's gift, however. It was a purple t-shirt with the words **ANTHROPOLOGISTS DO IT BETTER** in white. On the back was the Northwestern logo. "Where'd you get this?" Grace asked.

Jessie only smiled. "Not your concern. I thought you might like it."

"It's hilarious." Reaching over, she hugged her stepsister. "Thanks."

In the next round of gifts, she was handed a box wrapped in silver paper. The tag told her it was Eli, and she was curious. Lifting it, Grace shook in gently. Eli caught her doing this and laughed. Grace looked away, embarrassed.

When she was finally allowed to open it, Grace pulled the paper away eagerly. Her eyes lit up when she saw the familiar apple logo. "Eli, I can't believe you did this."

Lily looked over. "What'd he do?"

Her oldest daughter continued to pull the paper off and held the item up to show the family. Lily looked over at her stepson, concerned. "Aren't those a bit… expensive?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't too bad. Besides, Grace needed one."

"Really?" Rick asked, confused. "Why?"

"This way she won't spend all that hard earned money buying multiple copies of CDs."

Lily looked back to her daughter. "You do that? Really?"

"I bought extra copies of one CD. Eli laughed at me because of it." She glanced over at him and smiled sincerely. "Thank you."

"That's not all. Open it up, look what I put on the hard drive."

The circle continued around as Grace took the iPod from the box. He'd already charged it for her, so she powered it on. Grace sighed when she saw he'd already loaded her favorite Howie Day CD on it. Looking across the room, she caught his gaze. "Thank you," she mouthed.

He only smiled at her in return.

* * *

Song Credit: Howie Day, _Collide_


	3. We All Fall Down

**Part III: We All Fall Down**

"Mom, I'll be back later!" she called. Grace took the shopping bag with the gifts from her family in it and turned almost colliding with Eli. "Sorry," she apologized immediately.

He steadied her with his hands on her arms. "No problem." Eli saw that she had her purse, a duffle bag over one shoulder, and her gifts. "On your way home?"

"I'm just running over to my apartment. Need some more stuff."

Eli grinned. "Want some company?"

"Weren't you supposed to do something with Rick this afternoon?"

"We can do that later. Besides, you promised to show me where you lived."

"I'll just be there for a minute—" He stuck his bottom lip out, pretending to pout and Grace caved quickly. "Fine. C'mon."

"I'll just be a second." He went through the front door and exited out the garage a few moments later. Grace noticed he'd put on a hoodie. "Ready?"

Once they got to the car, Eli took her things from her. He put them in the backseat, before slipping in next to her. The engine roared to life and Grace blushed when _Collide_ poured out of her CD player. She went to hit the power button, but Eli stopped her. "No, I like it."

When the song finished, Eli reached and turned the volume down. Grace kept her eyes carefully trained on the road. The drive never seemed this long before. "So," he began, "when are you gonna let me drive your car?"

She laughed. "I'm not."

"Aw, Gracie. You're no fun."

"I'm plenty of fun," the brunette stated. "You never let me drive your car in high school."

"That's different—"

"How, exactly?" She paused for a moment, not surprised by his lack of an answer. "Thought so. Besides, you have your own car. When you get back to New York, you can drive it."

"I don't keep a car in the city. Too crowded."

Glancing over, she asked, "Really?"

"Nope. Insurance is too high. There's at least an accident a minute in that place."

"So how do you get to work?"

"I walk," he answered. "If it rains, then I might take a cab. It's not that unusual – lots of people don't have cars in New York."

"I know. It just seems so odd… Eli Sammler, not driving around in a gas-guzzling hot rod. It's like I've entered an alternate universe."

"I've changed, Grace."

"I'm beginning to see that." She glanced over and caught him staring at her. His gaze was intense and suddenly Grace felt like she had something on her face. "Wh—what?"

Shaking his head, Eli didn't answer. Instead he reached forward and turned the music back up. "This is a great song."

"Yeah," she agreed.

The car was silent until they arrived at her apartment. By the time Grace had cut the engine, Eli was out of the car and getting her things from the back. He followed her into the building silently. They took the elevator to the fifth floor and Grace led him to her door. "Here we are."

Eli glanced up and down the hall. "This place is classy. I imagined you living in some third floor walk-up over a Chinese restaurant."

The brunette laughed, in spite of herself. "Been there, done that. I've only lived here a little more than a year. This was my graduation present to myself." Grace let them in and instructed Eli to leave the bags on the couch. "Want something to drink?"

"Uh, sure."

She waited a moment, seeing if he'd elaborate on his preference, but he didn't. Eli was too busy looking at the pictures on her mantel. "Any preference?"

He looked back at her and smiled. "Surprise me."

Grace took a detour to her bedroom where she quickly grabbed a few extra changes of clothes and underwear. Things were going well and she wanted to stay with her parents for a few more days. Her mom thought it was a great idea – having her entire family together beneath one roof. When she returned to the living room with two cans of Coke, Eli was still staring intently at a picture on her mantel. "Whatcha looking at?"

Eli took the picture of the mantel and went to the couch. "I don't remember this picture being taken."

She sat beside him, putting his drink in front of him. Grace glanced over at the picture and froze. "It was New Years Eve a few years back." She was wearing a party hat with a noisemaker coming out of her mouth. Eli's head was to the side, looking at her and laughing. "Mom gave it to me."

"You don't remember what year it was, do you?"

Grace shrugged. "No. I do remember you were dating someone named Shelley, though. You mentioned that."

"Shelley?" Eli stared intently down at the photo, confused. The way he was looking at Grace… that scared him. He knew the picture was a few years old, and it wasn't possible he'd looked at her like that then. And Shelley? He didn't remember dating a Shelley, much less mentioning her to his family. "I don't remember her."

"No?" Grace queried. "She was pretty. Brown hair that fell just below her shoulders. Large brown eyes—"

"I…" He searched his memory for the description but he couldn't remember anyone. "Are you sure I mentioned her?"

Her brown eyes dropped to floor and she shook her head. "No. You never mentioned her. But she was real, Eli."

"What?"

Grace stood and moved away from him. She kept her back turned. "Three weeks after that picture was taken, I went to New York," she confessed easily. "I…I wanted to surprise you. I didn't understand why you hadn't called and wasn't thinking clearly. Jessie gave me your address and I went to your apartment. She was there, wearing your shirt. She…it was obvious she'd been there for a while. She wanted to know my name, so she could tell you who came by. I lied, and said I was Coop's sister, and I was only in town for the night."

"You were in New York?"

She nodded, still not facing him.

Eli stood and went to where she was. He gently turned her, and lifted her chin. "Why?"

"I needed to see you," she whispered. Grace reached up and wiped a tear quickly away. "I just… I wanted it to be a surprise."

"But why, Grace? Why'd you fly all the way to New York… why not call, let me know you were coming. Why not at least see me?"

Grace looked at him then. "I'd seen enough. I finally understood – I wasn't anything to you except another notch on the bedpost. I became what I swore I wouldn't… just another conquest."

"Grace."

She saw his face change, saw how guilty he felt. "Don't. I don't want your pity. I'm over it, anyway."

Eli knew she wasn't, but didn't know what to saw. He reached for her and sighed when she pulled away. "Grace."

"Don't touch me. Just…I want to go home."

"Grace," he tried again.

She flinched and walked away from him. "Let's go. I need to get back." Grace grabbed her purse and keys, before turning the lights off in the apartment.

He was left with no choice but to follow her. He glanced back into the apartment, silently wondering what he'd done.

* * *

It was late, midnight at least, and Grace was by herself. After they'd returned to the apartment, she'd told her Mom she wasn't feeling so well and went to her room. She'd locked the door and studied herself carefully in the mirror, wondering if something had changed. Without meaning to, she'd admitted something she swore she never would. Eli hadn't needed to know about the trip to New York. He probably thought she was even more pathetic now. 

She went down to dinner, only to find Eli was out catching up with some friends. She'd sighed in relief and ignored the look Jessie sent her. He was avoiding her. Any other time the thought would have disturbed Grace, but now…now she was just relieved. She didn't want to see him again for a long while.

Grace didn't hear the car door slam because of the iPod. She was lying under the oak tree in the front yard on a blanket, oblivious to the world around her. Somehow between last night and this morning, Eli had managed to record his own version of _Collide_ and downloaded it for her. Once she discovered that, she hit repeat and blocked the rest of the world out.

He thought she might be asleep, but wasn't sure. Coop was the first to see her and said something to Eli when he dropped him off. He wasn't ready to face her, but knew he should. Things were bad between them right now and they needed to be fixed. He knew he would have to be the one to fix them. "Grace?" he asked softly.

When he received no response, he kicked her foot. Her eyes popped open and she sat up immediately. Removing the headphones, she looked down. "Can I help you?"

Eli sighed heavily. Things were really bad. "I wanted to apologize."

"You don't need to. I didn't tell you because I wanted an apology."

"Why did you tell me, then?"

Grace shrugged in the darkness. "Dunno. It's been hanging between us for five years now, Eli. We both know it happened, but we never talk about it. I didn't even want to talk about it – but, I saw that picture and I couldn't stop myself. It doesn't change how I think of you. I just wanted to clear the air, I think."

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," he told her softly. "It was the last thing I wanted to do."

"What you did didn't hurt me, Eli. It changed me." Grace looked away from him and sighed deeply. How was she going to explain this? "I know you know I was practically in love with you during high school. I mean, I even kissed you. After our parents got married, I convinced myself you at least felt something for me. Something that wasn't sisterly. I can still vividly remember the night in your room, when you almost kissed me. You wanted to and I wanted you to, but then you stopped. I never understood that.

"The first time you ever let me down was the night of my play. I know Karen showed up and you'd lied to her earlier that day. Still, I wished you could have found a way to stay. For the first time in my life, I was great at something. I was great for you, because of you. That being said, I'm kind of glad you didn't show up. That was the night when I started to fall out of love with you. You hurt me and it was enough to pull me back from cloud nine. Slowly, I started to change. I didn't notice at first – but suddenly I wasn't spending hours thinking about you. When I started Northwestern you barely crossed my mind, and I was glad."

"Why're you telling me this?" Eli asked.

"Then New Years happened," she went on, ignoring him. Glancing over at him, she smiled. "You and I… what we did was special and I loved you for it. You took care of me those two days and you made me believe what I needed to believe. I didn't hate myself because of you. I went to New York because I was desperate. For those three weeks, I was that sixteen-year-old girl again. I was back on cloud nine. Going there, seeing Shelley let me see you. The real you, for the first time."

"What?" he asked. "The real me isn't anything like the person you just described."

Grace nodded. "But you are, Eli. Even if you don't know it. When I saw her, my heart broke into a million tiny pieces. I came back home and wallowed, swearing I'd never forgive you. I had to, though. Once again, you gave me the strength to change my life. After that, I swore I'd never live my life for another person and I don't. I'm doing what I want to do, I'm where I want to be, and I'm happy. I needed the courage to let go of the girl I used to be, and you gave it to me. I hate that my heart was broken in the process, but that's how it happened."

They sat in the dark together for a long time. Grace had said her peace and knew Eli would have something to say, she just had to wait on him. "She reminded me of you," he said at last.

"Who?"

"Shelley. Shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. Her hair even had the red tint yours does. She was shorter than me and her body was curved like yours. She lived with me for awhile in New York."

"Oh."

"When we were together… I pretended she was you. I wanted her to be you. I broke up with her after I couldn't pretend any longer. My need for you became too strong. "

She didn't know how to respond, so she didn't. It was a shock. Eli choosing his girlfriend based on her. Grace knew she wasn't the only one who came away affected. "I did that a lot, actually. A lot of the women I dated had your features. How fucked up is that, Grace?"

"Eli—"

"No," he cut her off. Reaching out, Eli took her face between his hands and made her look at him. "I need you to hear this and I need you to understand, okay? I—My whole life I've been waiting for this moment. I think I loved you before I knew you, Gracie. Even if I didn't realize it at the time, you came into my life for a reason. It wasn't about needing an English tutor, or Carla, or even our parents. It was always about us."

"What do you want from me?" she asked. "Why tell me this now?"

"I'm happy, too, Grace. I love my life, but even I know something's missing. I write songs because the lyrics put feeling to my thoughts. I can't explain it to you, or myself, but when I write it down I know it makes perfect sense. You're what's missing. I see that now."

"Eli," she sighed. Leaning forward, Grace wrapped her arms around his neck. She hugged him tightly before pulling away. She stared at him for a moment before leaning forward and kissing him. Grace was sure to keep it gentle and pulled back before Eli could deepen it. "You don't love me, Eli, even though you think you do. You don't know me, so you can't love me. I'm not that sixteen-year-old girl who was so in love with you. I won't be her again just to make you happy.

With that, Grace picked up her iPod and walked away. He wasn't sure, but Eli thought he might have heard her whisper goodbye.

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much for those of you who are so supportive. I fully acknowledge I have no idea what I'm doing. But it's a lot of fun. -C 


	4. Fathers, Daughters, and Sons

**Part IV: Fathers, Daughters, and Sons**

The next morning Eli was greeted by an empty house, save his father on the couch reading. "Morning. Where's everybody at?"

"Lily took the girls and Will out shopping. We didn't think you'd want to go along."

He sat down beside his father. "Right in one." Eli sat there for a moment, pondering what to say next. He needed to talk to someone about this situation with Grace…and his dad was just as good as anyone. "Do you know if Grace is still planning on being here through New Years?"

Rick folded the newspaper and sat it on the coffee table. "I'm not sure. She might go home for a night or two." He studied him carefully before asking, "E, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

The older man glanced at his watch. "It's almost eleven. You want to get some breakfast?"

Eli looked up. "Is there a place serving this late?"

"Yeah, I know a place that serves breakfast all day."

When they arrived at The Breakfast Nook, Rick wasn't surprised it was filled mostly with men. He'd brought Lily here a few times, but the clientele leaned towards construction workers and the sort. "They make really good omelets," Rick told Eli.

His son slid in across from his dad and took the menu. He scanned it, already knowing what he wanted. Rick ordered coffee to go along with his omelet and Eli wanted a Coke with his French toast.

After the waitress took their order, they fell into silence. Rick studied his son carefully, wanting to talk to him, but unsure how to start. Finally, Eli looked up and said, "Dad, how were you sure you loved Mom and Lily?"

"What?"

"There's a girl… and I think I'm serious about her. I've told her I loved her, but she walked out on me. She told me I didn't know her, so I couldn't love her. How were you sure?"

Rick looked at Eli carefully, wondering if she should ask about the identity of this mystery girl. "When I met your mom, we were both in college. We were young and carefree. We got married after dating for a year, and things were good for a long time. Eventually, as you know, it stopped working. I never stopped loving her, but that love changed. It wasn't the way a man was supposed to love a woman.

"And Lily… you were there during my relationship with Lily, E. There was this connection between the both of us. Electricity. I knew by our third date I wanted to marry her."

Eli looked up from his hands. "How did you prove to Lily you loved her?"

"I didn't have to. She just knew." Rick stopped talking when the waitress arrived with their food. She arranged everything in front of them and topped off their drinks before disappearing. "This seems so sudden, Eli. You think you're in love with someone?"

"I'm pretty sure I love her, Dad." Eli sighed heavily. "I can't get her out of my head. I just want to be with her. I'd walk away from everything to be with her."

"Have you tried telling her?"

"I called a few days before Christmas, but couldn't find the courage to leave it on her machine. I tried twice – the first time it was just a blank message, and the second I finally screwed up the courage and the machine cut me off. When I talked to her last night, she told me I didn't know her anymore."

The older man studied his son carefully. He hadn't seen Eli on the phone with anyone while he'd been in town. No, mostly he'd just been out with Grace…Oh.

Eli saw the light bulb turn on inside his father's head. When Rick looked up at him, Eli nodded once. "Yeah."

"Grace?" Rick whispered. "You're talking about Grace?"

"Dad—"

"She's your _sister_ Eli," Rick told him, making sure to keep his voice low.

"_Step_-sister, Dad. I…I can't explain it. It's something that's been going on for so long, I don't have any control over it anymore."

"How long?"

"Long enough."

"How long?" his father repeated. "I need to know if you were sneaking around with her…"

"When?" Eli questioned. "Before you married Lily? Would that have changed anything, Dad? If you knew I had feelings for Grace, would that have changed anything?"

Rick shook his head. "You know it wouldn't."

"I almost kissed her the day you got married. But never again while she was in school."

"This is coming from somewhere, E. You don't almost kiss someone over five years ago and then announce out of the blue that you think you love her." Rick knew what his son looked like when he was guilty, and he looked like that now. "What happened?"

"The Christmas after I moved to New York, when I came home. Something happened…"

"What? Did you kiss her?" The older man stared at his son, frowning. "E, did you…?"

Ashamed, Eli nodded. "She wasn't feeling well, so we left your party early. There wasn't anyone home, so I took her to the garage until someone got back. One thing led to another, and we, uh, you know."

"Yes, I know."

Eli put his head in his hands and sighed. "Dad, I didn't mean for this to happen. If you believe nothing else, believe that. It happened so slowly, so casually… I was in the middle of it before I could do anything."

"Eli, I'm going to ask you something. I don't want an answer immediately – take a few seconds, think about the implications. You have to answer me honestly." Rick paused, studying his son's face. The man in him knew already how Eli would answer the question, but the father in him hoped. "Do you love her?"

His son exhaled slowly, turning the question over in his mind. He'd told Grace he did last night, and she'd said he didn't know her. Was she right? Was she really that different from the girl she'd been? "Since I was seventeen years old, Dad."

Rick nodded solemnly. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"The happiness of my children is the most important thing in the world to me and that includes you _and_ Grace. You should talk to her and I'll speak with Lily. If Grace refuses to even listen to you, then you need to go back to New York and forget this. I know it will be painful for you, but if you love her you'll want her to be happy. If she listens… if she thinks she might return your feelings, then we'll decide where to go from there."

* * *

After breakfast, Rick and Eli went off in search of Grace. A quick call to Lily told them they were still at the mall, and she asked them if they wanted to join them for lunch. Despite the fact they'd just eaten, the men agreed. Though he wasn't completely convinced about how this was going to work, Rick knew if the sooner he got Eli and Grace in front of each other, it would help.

He loved his son and he was proud of him. When Eli was in high school, Rick was sure his life was going nowhere fast. Then, suddenly he seemed to pull himself from the stupor. Eli started making the right decisions and started really living his life. A professional songwriter wasn't Rick's dream, but it was Eli's. Rick couldn't help but wonder if Grace had something to do with that.

They were already eating when Rick and Eli arrived. Neither of them ordered, though Eli stole a few french fries off of Jessie's plate. He was encouraged when Grace looked over and smiled at him. Rick saw the exchange as well and wondered if this could end happily.

When they finished eating, each of the family members set off on a different route. Eli and Rick were both surprised when Grace asked him to accompany her to the Apple store. She needed help picking out accessories for the iPod Eli had bought her. Because he wasn't entirely comfortable with that situation, Rick sent Will along with them as a buffer. Zoë convinced Jessie to go somewhere with her and Lily dragged Rick into Pottery Barn.

Will held onto both of their hands as they walked along, swinging his arms in both directions. He happily chatted with both of them – thrilled to be along with his older sister _and_ brother. Though, Will would have preferred to just spend time with Eli. Since his brother lived so far away, Will rarely saw him.

Eli broke the silence between them by asking Grace, "What're you looking for?"

"I went out running last night and nearly lost it. Maybe a case?" He nodded, and she continued, "I'll know exactly what I want when I get there. I haven't decided yet."

He raised an eyebrow at his words, wondering if she was still talking about the iPod. From the sounds of it…

They reached the store and Eli showed her around. All of the sales representatives were busy, so he showed her some of the accessories he'd bought for himself.

He was showing her a battery pack when someone asked, "Has anyone helped you yet?" When Eli turned around, the sales girl smiled. "You came back."

Eli nodded. "Yes, this one," he nodded towards Grace, "needs some accessories." Eli tightened his grip on Will, taking on a 'fatherly' stance. He'd flirted with the girl previously, hoping she would reduce the price of the gift. She'd allowed him to use her employee discount of fifteen percent at checkout. Now, however, she wasn't a complication he needed.

Elise, the sales assistant, let her gaze slide over to Grace. "I see." She turned back to Eli. "You bought the Mini, right?"

"Yeah. I was just explaining to Grace why she needed a dock."

It was evident Eli wasn't the customer here, so Elise smiled warmly at Grace. "Well, that depends. What do you do?"

"I'm a research assistant at Northwestern."

"Are you at school a lot? And while you're there, do you listen to music?"

Grace shrugged. "I guess."

"Do you keep a CD player or anything like that at school?"

The brunette nodded. "Yeah, I have one at the office."

"Then, he's right. I would recommend the dock. You'll have all of your favorite music right there with you. Just connect it to your computer speakers and it turns into a small stereo," she smiled. "Pre-loaded with all of your favorite songs."

Grace turned around, taking one. "Then I'll get it. Anything else?"

Elise looked at Eli. "What're you thinking?"

"A battery pack and maybe an arm band?"

The assistant nodded, leading them to what he wanted. In the end, Grace decided to buy all three of the accessories. Elise led them to the register and Grace frowned when Eli removed a credit card from his wallet. "What're you doing?"

"I bought the gift, I'll buy the accessories."

"Eli—"

"Please? Let me do this."

Grace shifted uncomfortable, aware that Elise's eyes were on them. "I don't feel right about this. It was a gift and you don't need to buy me anything else."

He handed his card to Elise and smiled, "I want to."

After a few more arguments, Grace relented and allowed him to pay for the purchase. Eli looked smug as he walked away with Will in his arms. Elise leaned forward and smiled. "He's cute. If only I could be so lucky."

Grace rolled her eyes at the girls' melodramatic sigh. "If you want him, you can have him."

Elise looked up. "He's your boyfriend, right?"

"Not exactly." The brunette grabbed the bag and followed Eli out of the store. When she got to him, his hazel eyes were shiny in victory. "I don't like you."

"What'd I do?" he asked, defensively.

Grace turned on him. "I asked you to come with me so you could _help_. You didn't have to pay for them."

"Hey, it was my gift to you. There's no reason why you should have to drop an extra hundred bucks on something I gave you."

"E, you're not going to use the accessories."

"I'm not using the iPod either," he told her. "Look, Grace, I _wanted_ to do this. I didn't feel guilty because I'm the one who bought it for you either." Eli pinched his nose in frustration. "You know, I wouldn't have bought the damn thing if I thought it'd cause these problems."

She watched him walking away for a moment. Grace looked down at the bag she was holding and sighed. "Eli, wait." He stopped walking and she hurried to catch up with him. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just—"

"You decided this was about _us_, Grace. I told you how I felt and you shot me down, end of story." Eli looked down at Will who was beginning to squirm. "You and I need to talk. There's a McDonalds with one of those playgrounds up that way. Let's get Will some ice cream and let him play."

Grace reluctantly agreed. She fell behind as Eli walked with Will towards the restaurant. She'd been so sure Eli was trying to impress her when he bought the stuff for her – maybe she was wrong. Maybe he really felt responsible for the gift and didn't want to cost her any money. They were waiting for her at the door when she finally caught up with them. She looked up at Eli and said, "I'm paying for this."

He only grinned and held the door open for her. Eli picked Will up when they got to the counter. "Want some ice cream, buddy?"

The child nodded. "Chocolate!"

Eli laughed. "Do you want anything on it?"

Will thought for a moment before saying, "Syrup and sprinkles."

Grace took out her wallet and Eli took Will to the play area. She looked up to find the cashier smiling at her. "You have a really beautiful family." Grace smiled, accepting the compliment. "Your son is adorable and your husband is…" The girl let her eyes slide over Eli's backside and sighed. "Very, very handsome."

She was too embarrassed to reply. Sure, Will was a cute kid and Eli… there was never any doubt about Eli. Grace paid quietly and took the ice cream. She took a deep breath before following them outside. They were waiting at a table in the back corner and Will already had his shoes off. Grace was grateful the play area was enclosed and heated – no need to worry about her brother getting sick. "One chocolate ice cream with sprinkles and syrup," she announced.

The boy grinned. "Thanks, Gracie!"

The brunette smiled. "No problem, kiddo."

Neither Eli nor Grace said anything as Will happily ate his ice cream. He would occasionally glance over to the other children playing and it was obvious he was ready to get in there himself. Finally, when he was about half-finished he pushed the cup towards Grace. "I want to play. You finish this."

His sister took the ice cream from. "Go have fun." She looked on as he ran straight to the pool of plastic balls. "I love that kid," she said to no one. Grace looked up to find Eli staring at her. "What?"

Eli shook his head. "I was just… nothing."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Eli," she whined.

"Last night you made it pretty clear how you felt about certain things. What I was just thinking involved those things, so let's drop it."

Grace nodded, accepting his answer. "You bought that iPod on Christmas Eve, didn't you?"

"I did."

"That's why you wouldn't tell me. It was my gift." When he nodded in affirmation, she continued, "So you didn't get me anything until Christmas Eve?"

"I didn't know what you wanted," he said in explanation. "We see each other once a year and I thought it might be a little awkward calling you up out of nowhere asking what you wanted for Christmas. I used the only opportunity I had."

"You shouldn't have. You didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to," he said. "What? You don't like it."

"No, no. I love it," Grace assured him. "I just… I know how much those cost and then with the accessories today. You spent a lot of money on one gift."

He shrugged, the money not really mattering to him. "If I hadn't spent it on you, it's likely I might have thrown a kegger when I got back to New York. So really, you're saving me from throwing up a lot."

"Well, when you put it that way." She sat there, absently swirling the spoon in the ice cream. It was beginning to melt and Grace thought about asking Will if he wanted it. She looked over and he was still happily playing in the ball. He and another little boy were throwing balls at each other and diving around. "What'd you do this morning?"

"I slept until eleven, since I had my heart so cruelly broken last night. Then Dad took me out to breakfast."

"And then you met us here?" She eyed him carefully. "Who's idea was that?"

"Dad's. Guess he wanted to see Lily." It felt strange not telling her the entire truth. Especially since what he discussed with his father affected her so much.

"Did I really break your heart?" Grace asked suddenly. She looked down, not sure what she wanted his answer to be. If he said no, she'd be happy because it meant he was okay. And if he said yes… well, she didn't know what that meant.

"It's a little bit crushed right now," he admitted. "You should know I don't give up easily, though."

"What's that mean?" She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm not going to change my mind."

Eli looked at her, trying to determine what his next move was. He knew she wasn't entirely comfortable with their situation and he shouldn't press her into something she didn't want. But he could remember the way she'd looked at him before, how they'd talked so openly at dinner and then later in his room. She felt _something_ for him and he was determined to find out what. "New Years," he said finally.

"New Years?" Grace repeated. "What about it?"

"Give me until New Years to change your mind. If you don't, then I'll fly back to New York and never mention this again. If I convince you, then you have to at least give it a shot."

"Why is this so important to you?"

He reached across the table and covered her hand with his. "Because you're important to me. Don't you see that?"

Grace wasn't sure how she would have replied. She was still thinking about his proposition when she heard Will scream. Pushing all thoughts of Eli aside, Grace jumped into motion and went to him. He'd just come down the slide and it looked like his knee was bleeding. When he was wrapped safely in her arms, Grace turned to find Eli on his cell phone. She could tell he was talking to Rick, telling them what happened. "It's not a problem, Dad," she heard him say.

When Eli finished his conversation, he turned to Grace and said, "They're on their way. But Jessie and Zoë just went into a movie about half an hour ago. Dad wanted me to stay and take them home. They're going to take Will in Lily's car."

"Sounds good," Grace told him. She continued to hold Will against her chest, whispering comforting words to him. Finally his tears started to dry up and Grace saw he wasn't really hurt. He started to fall asleep when their parents arrived. "Look, Will. Mommy's here."

The little boy looked up and smiled. When his mother got to them, he went immediately for her arms. She looked down at his knee and was relieved it was only a scratch, but still decided to take him home. Lily waited patiently for Rick to hand over his car keys to Eli. After a moment she turned to Grace and asked, "Are you coming with us or staying here?"

Grace glanced at Eli, unsure how to answer. She didn't want to leave him by himself, but… "I'll stay," she answered. Maybe it was time to put some faith in Eli again.


	5. No Fairy Tale Endings

**Part V: No Fairy Tale Endings**

Grace stared up at the marquee and groaned. "Their movie doesn't let out for another hour and forty-five minutes. I'm so _bored_!"

Eli glanced over at her, clearly amused. "Then let's do something."

She shook her head. "No, we'll wait here."

"Why?"

The brunette looked away from him. "I just want to stay here."

"For almost two hours?" Eli asked her. "That's silly."

Grace crossed her arms over her chest. "But it's what I want to do."

"Grace, if you're bored why don't we just go do something. Hell, we could window shop for two hours. Anything's better than just sitting here."

"If you want to go, I'm not stopping you."

Eli snorted. "You're the most stubborn person I know. Can you give me a reason other than 'I just want to stay here'?" When she didn't answer, Eli shook his head. "Do you have a pen?" He busied himself by finding a scrap of paper he could write on and took it when she offered. Eli scribbled down his cell phone number. "I'm… out, just call me when you're ready."

Her brown eyes widened in horror as he started walking away. He wasn't supposed to do that! "Eli!" she called after him. He didn't turn around.

Fifteen minutes later Eli was in a music store when his cell phone rang. He recognized the number instantly. "Hello? Hello?" Well, damn. Maybe she wasn't calling him.

"I'm starting to rethink this whole New Years thing."

He turned around, surprised by her voice. Grace was standing right behind him. "What New Years thing?"

"You asked earlier if I'd give you until New Years… here's your chance. Though I feel I should tell you up front your chances of succeeding are slim to none."

Eli grinned. "I always liked a challenge."

"I'm serious." Grace crossed her arms and stared at him. "I can't even think of a good reason as to why I should consider your offer."

"Oh," he said, taking a step closer, "but I can."

She looked up at him, not liking the smile on his face. "How?"

"It has to do with my job."

Grace wracked her brain, wondering what his job had to do with anything. "You write songs."

"Right," he nodded. "But part of being a songwriter is going to the launch parties and hanging out with the musicians. I've worked with lots of people in the business. I bet if you listed some of your favorite singers, I'd even know them."

Her first reaction was to tell him she didn't care who he knew. But, judging from the grin he was wearing, he knew some pretty cool people. "Go ahead. Tell me some of the people you've worked with."

"Steven Tyler, John Mayer, the guys from Good Charlotte, Macy Gray."

"So I know some of them. So what?" Grace was unwilling to admit she was impressed. For some reason, the conversation seemed… materialistic. Eli had never needed to impress her and he'd certainly never tried using famous people. This wasn't him and it felt _wrong_. She liked him for who he was, didn't he know that?

"Howie Day."

Before she could stop herself, Grace blurted out, "But he writes his own music!"

Eli shrugged. "Everyone needs a little help sometimes. You used to help me, remember?"

She remembered all too well. "This light, this rain, this life…"

"This pain," he finished for her. "See, I know something about you Grace."

"Eli."

He studied her for a moment. "I need you to promise me something, okay?"

"I can try."

That wasn't the answer he was looking for, but it was something. "Promise me you'll forget everything you know about me. You'll let me prove to you that I've changed."

"I know you've changed," she told him. "You're standing in front of me, Eli. Anyone could see the difference in you."

"Then why are you still holding my past against me?"

"I'm not."

He took a step closer and Grace had to tilt her head back to look him in the eyes. "Aren't you? You won't even consider my offer because of something that happened five years ago."

"You hurt me." She could feel the emotions start to well inside of her. "Earlier you told me your heart was a little bit crushed because of last night. Talk to me when it's shattered." Grace looked away, embarrassed by the tears in her eyes. "This was a mistake."

She went to walk away, but Eli wouldn't let her. He clamped his hand down on her arm, stopping her. "Please don't."

"Don't what?" Grace asked, still not looking at him.

"Don't walk away from me, don't cry, don't…" he sighed. "Don't break my heart."

His plea nearly broke hers. "I don't know if I can do this," she confessed.

"Do what?"

She motioned between them. "If we start this and it doesn't work, I'm not sure if I can put the pieces back together again. If you hurt me—"

"I wouldn't," he interrupted her.

"If you did," Grace continued, "if you hurt me, I don't know if I could recover from that again. I changed my whole life last time, Eli. What would I do this time?"

"How do you know there will be a 'this time' Grace? How do you know already?" She just stared at him. "That's why I asked you to promise me. If this will even have a chance, then we have to let go of the past."

"What if I can't?"

Eli looked down. "Then tell me, so I can walk away now."

"You could do that?"

"I wouldn't want to, but yeah, if there wasn't a chance at all. I'd try to save myself some heartache."

Grace gave him a bittersweet smile. "So I guess you're not a fan of Tennyson, huh?"

"Who?"

She laughed at his confusion. "This guy, he was a writer and he said, 'It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.' You don't believe that?"

"Don't you see?" he asked her. "I'm a better person because I've loved you. When we were younger, you saw something in me that was worth something. You made me want to be a better person, Grace. I have a quote of my own, you want to hear it?"

"Sure."

Eli reached up and touched her face gently. He slid his hazel eyes over it, taking in each freckle and blemish. He wanted to remember everything about this moment. From the way her hair was curled under at the ends, to the sadness in her eyes. He knew he'd be able to remember her like this, when his heart was in pieces at his feet. "You're beautiful."

She grinned. "That's your quote? How about this, 'Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?'"

"Both. But that wasn't what I wanted to say." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the car keys Rick had given him earlier. He took Grace's hand and folded them around the keys. 'The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you.' I'll take a cab home. Bye, Grace."

In stunned silence, she watched him walk away.

* * *

Eli pushed a twenty through the slot. "Keep the change," he said, getting out of the car. He looked up at the house he'd spent his first sixteen years in and sighed. It was weird being back here again. There were so many memories from this house and not all of them were good. He could vividly remember shouting matches between both of his parents before their divorce, and then years later it was him who shouted at his mother.

Sighing, he walked up the front steps. He had a key and he could use it…he knew Karen wouldn't mind, but he hesitated. Finally he rang the doorbell. His mother answered a few moments later. "Eli?"

Eli felt his heart lift when he saw her. "Mom." He stepped into her open arms. "I'm sorry I didn't call."

Karen shook her head, pushing aside his apology. "This is your home. You never have to call, E. I'll always have a place for you here."

"Can I come in?"

She stepped to the side, grasping his hand. Karen followed when he lead her to the couch. "I wasn't expecting you today. Is everything okay?"

He nodded, not sure what he should tell her. In a lot of ways Eli felt his mother sometimes thought Lily and the rest of the Mannings ruined her life. Because of his situation, he didn't want her to become angry with Grace. Considering his past actions, Eli was sometimes surprised Grace would even speak to him. "Something's happened."

Karen stood, panicked. "Is it Jessie?"

"No, Mom, sit down. No one's hurt, everyone's okay."

"I don't understand, Eli. What changed over night?"

Her son looked away, unsure. "I need you to make me a promise first, Mom."

She reached over, taking his hand again. "Okay. Go on."

Eli turned his hazel eyes to hers and said, "I need to know you won't be ashamed of me. I need to know you'll still love me after what I tell you."

"Eli, there is nothing in this world powerful enough to make me stop loving you." He turned away, and she said, "Look at me. I'll never be ashamed of you."

He sighed heavily, working up the courage to tell her. He just needed to say it. "Even if I'm in love with my step-sister?"

"Wh—?"

"I'm in love with Grace, Mom."

His mother sat, stunned. Of all of the things she expected to hear, his declaration of love was on the very bottom of the list. Jessie had once mentioned Eli and Grace were close and at the time it had comforted Karen. At least someone understood him – someone other than her was willing to fight for him. In Grace, she knew Eli had someone he could count on. And vice versa. Karen knew he was waiting for her to speak, but she didn't have the words. Nothing she'd ever read, ever heard prepared her for this moment. "Have you told your father?" she asked finally.

"This morning." He squeezed his mother's hand tightly. "He was shocked, but deep down I think he expected it. Dad always knew there was something just below the surface between Grace and me. I think he thought not acknowledging it would make it go away."

"How long has this been going on?"

Eli looked at his mother, wondering if he could tell really tell her the truth. When he'd spoken to his father, he'd hesitated because of the connection Rick shared with Grace. But his mom… sure, she liked Grace, but there wasn't any love there. His father had tried to find a happy balance and a solution that would make them both happy. But Karen… she might understand how much Grace really meant. "There's been an attraction since high school."

"Eli!" she scolded. "You were two grades ahead of her!"

"I'm not exactly proud of it. We never… she was in college before anything physical happened." He couldn't believe he was telling his mother this. "I had a chance back then, but the intensity of what I felt scared me. I ran back to New York, and settled for a Grace-substitute." That decision would likely haunt him for the rest of his life. If he'd only been able to keep his pants on, maybe he would be with Grace today.

"Does she feel the same way?"

"She says she doesn't. At least not anymore. Grace won't…"

"What?" Karen asked as he trailed off. "Grace won't?" She didn't want to admit how important his answer was. If Grace was completely against him, his mother was certain he would need to back off. She didn't want her son to cross the line between love and obsession.

"She won't admit any feelings for me. Yet, she won't deny them either. It's almost become a game of cat and mouse and I don't know how to win." Eli looked at his mother, uncertain. "What do I do, Mom?"

The blonde took in his defeated shoulders and shaky voice. This wasn't her son sitting in front of her. This was a man on the verge of losing everything he ever wanted. Her head was instructing her to tell him to let it go. If Grace didn't want him, if she didn't love him, then there were certainly enough women out there who would. But she couldn't look away from his haunted eyes or the desperation in his voice. Karen knew he really, truly cared for Grace. "You do the only thing you can, honey. You fight for her."

* * *

"Eli, it's Grace again. It's been almost an hour and Jessie's movie will be out soon. I've left you three messages and you haven't called me back. Look, I'm sorry. I understand why you left and I'm not mad at you. We need to talk, okay? Just the two of us." She paused for a moment, looking at the theatre doors. People were beginning to file out, talking excitedly. In the crowd she saw her sister and stepsister. "You're right, E. There's something real between us and we should decide what to do with it. No matter what happens, I'll always be here for you." Grace clicked her phone shut just as Jessie saw her.

The two girls hurried to her, smiling. "Hey Grace. Where's everyone?"

"Will fell at the playground so Mom and Rick took him home. I stuck around to drive you home. I think your dad called and left you a voicemail."

Jessie went digging through her bag, pulling out her phone. "Yeah, there's a message. I should have checked." Clicking the phone up, she smiled. "So where's E? Is he around here somewhere?"

"No," Grace said, uncomfortably. "He left too."

"With Dad?"

The brunette shifted nervously, not wanting to lie. However, she also didn't want to get into this with Jessie. Not at the mall, in the middle of the busiest shopping day of the year. "Something came up, so he took a cab home."

"Is everything okay?" Zoë cut in. She could tell from her sister's stance that Grace wasn't being entirely honest.

"Yeah, everything's fine. He just had to go."

Jessie didn't believe her, but she'd seen the looks Eli had given her over the last couple of days. Even if hadn't said the words, Jessie was sure her brother was head over feet for Grace. What's more, she'd been certain of it for years. Jessie always noticed the way Eli's face would drop when he realized Grace wouldn't be attending a family function. While she wasn't sure what happened between them, she could guess. "Okay."

Grace smiled, grateful Jessie was letting it drop. She dug into her pockets and pulled out Rick's keys. "Let's get out of here."

Both girls quickly agreed and soon they were leaving the mall. Grace was silently wondering if she'd have even more uncomfortable questions to answer when she got home.

* * *

_1. Quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson __  
2. Quote from 'Cinderella'  
3. Author not known – anonymous._


	6. That Girl

**Part VI: That Girl**

Lily Manning knew something was up the moment Rick asked her oldest daughter where his son was. Grace blushed horribly and stumbled over Eli getting a call from a friend and taking a cab to said friend's house. What made it even more suspicious was Eli himself walking in a few minutes later (while Grace was still attempting to explain) with his mother.

"Okay, what's going on?" she finally asked.

All eyes turned to Lily for a moment. She saw Eli and Grace both look away wearing guilty expressions. That, she expected. What was unexpected was Rick looking guilty as well. "Someone's not telling me something and I want to know what."

No one moved. Her eyes fell on Jessie, who squirmed. "Don't ask me. No one tells me anything." Lily looked at her youngest daughter, who wore the same expression.

She looked back at Grace, who was busy studying the floor. "Grace?"

Brown met brown when she looked up, but Grace couldn't hold her mother's gaze. "It's nothing, Mom. Everything's normal."

Now Lily was _sure_ something was wrong. "Eli?" He said nothing. She looked at the other mother in the room, the one who looked so desperate to discuss the problem – but she knew Karen would never betray Eli. Lily couldn't hold that against her. Finally, she looked at her husband. "Rick?"

"Lil—"

"Don't do that. Everything's _not_ fine and I want to know what's going on!" She felt like such a child in that moment, reminding herself of Zoë at nine. When she hadn't gotten her way, she'd often throw a tantrum, yell, and stomp her feet.

Rick knew he had to tell her, she was his _wife_ and he didn't fancy sleeping on the couch. His son was shifting nervously, though. Eli didn't want Lily to know, at least not yet. He breathed a sigh of relief when Grace finally stepped forward, taking a slight nod from Eli, and went to her mother. She took Lily's hand and led her out of the room.

Her mother followed silently until they reached Grace's bedroom door. "Gracie?"

"I'll explain everything," Grace told her. She opened the door and allowed her mother to enter. The brunette was sure to close the door behind her. There was no point in giving the eavesdroppers an advantage. "You have to promise to not freak out."

"Grace—"

"It's not bad, Mom. But it's a lot and I just don't want you to react before you think about it." She sat beside her mother on her childhood bed. "Okay?"

Lily nodded. "Okay."

Grace stopped for a moment, unsure of where to start. Her mother knew about the childhood crush on Eli. She could remember the older woman being relieved when she started dating different people her senior year. Lily had been glad Grace was moving on. "I had…sex with Eli when I was a sophomore."

"Grace!" her mother admonished. "You what?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds," she explained. "I was in college." Grace noticed her mother looked relieved and immediately realized she'd thought she'd meant her other sophomore year. "We were both adults and consenting. I thought I loved him and that it would mean something."

The older woman frowned, her brow creasing. "It didn't?"

Grace shrugged, not sure of the answer. Finally, she said, "I think it meant different things to each of us. Finally being with him put some meaning to all of the hours I spent wanting to be with him. I was nineteen and Eli Sammler was the only boy I'd ever…wanted like that. Since the first time I talked to him, I knew my first time would be with him."

"Wait, you were a virgin?" When Grace nodded, Lily felt an odd sense of pride. Her daughter had been _nineteen_ and with someone she cared deeply for, whether she loved him or not. It'd been the exact opposite of her first experience – fifteen behind the bleachers during Homecoming. "Go on."

"Eli and I were in different places. Geography was only one of the problems. After he went back to New York, I got tired of waiting and flew up. I met his girlfriend."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Girlfriend?"

"I'm not sure if they were together when we…" she trailed off. The brunette could feel her cheeks burning. "I went to see him and met her. I remember thinking they lived together, which Eli said they did. I came back from New York heartbroken, but determined to finally move on with my life. That's what I've spent the last four years doing."

"If it's all ancient history, why's it coming up again?"

"Eli told me yesterday that he loved me. That he was _in_ love with me."

"He what?"

Grace nodded. "He said he wanted to be with me. I turned him down last night, because I've moved past that point in my life. Today, while we were out, he asked me to reconsider. Eli wants until New Years to prove that he's changed and that his feelings are real. I never agreed, but somehow we had this uncomfortable exchange about love and beauty and he left."

"That's the whole story?" Lily questioned. "How are Karen and Rick involved?"

"I'm not sure. I guess he told them both."

Her mother studied her, trying to decipher her feelings without asking. The dark-haired woman could remember a time when Grace would have jumped with joy at the idea of being with Eli. Lily couldn't deny how impressed she was that Grace had her life together. "Do you care for him?"

"I'll always care about him, Mom. It's Eli. We've been together too much to cut him out of my life."

"But you don't feel for him what he feels for you?"

"I don't think so." She sounded uncertain even to herself. "I'm not sure if I've turned him down because I don't feel…that, or because I'm afraid of being _her_ again."

"Who?"

"Jennifer…Cassidy…Carla. Any of the nameless girlfriends Eli paraded through here. I don't want to be that girl."

"How do you know you would be?"

"I don't," Grace shrugged. "I have no way of knowing. But if I'm not with him at all, then I can't possibly be that girl."

Lily studied her daughter, not liking what she was hearing. It seemed to her that Grace was letting fear make the decision for her. "Gracie, are you afraid of loving Eli?"

"No," she answered. The brunette turned the answer over in her head. "Maybe."

"Do you love him?"

She didn't know how to answer. It seemed that nothing but her feelings for Eli were filling her mind lately, however Grace didn't understand where the feelings came from. "The little girl in me will always love him. Part of me is overjoyed that he finally noticed I'm alive. I'm so much older now, Mom. He and I don't talk anymore; we've barely been in the same room for five years. We're _stepsiblings._"

Her mother could understand. Lily had long ago accepted a tiny part of her heart would belong to Jake. He'd been the first man she'd really loved. He'd been the person she'd given her whole self to. Losing him had nearly destroyed her. "It didn't matter before," she said gently. "Why does it now?"

"We're not kids anymore. We can't throw caution to the wind, everything and everyone else be damned. It would never work." Grace watched her mother carefully. She waited for some kind of response, some kind of verbal affirmation that she was making the right decision. She desperately needed someone to tell her she was right.

Lily didn't say anything, however. After a moment, she wrapped an arm around Grace and hugged her tightly. Her baby wasn't a baby anymore and it was up to Grace to make the right decision. She was the one who needed to soul-search and find the answer. If she loved Eli, she wouldn't let him go. Standing, Lily left Grace on the bed and exited the room. She looked back at her daughter, seeing her eyes threatening to spill over with tears. This was on Grace.

* * *

Rick found his wife in their bedroom, a blanket pulled over her body. "Lily?" he asked gently. She lifted her head and smiled. "Can we come in?" 

"We?"

He moved to the side and she saw his ex-wife accompanied him. Sitting up, Lily nodded. "Yeah. We should talk about this."

Karen entered the bedroom of her ex-husband and new wife with hesitation. This was their private sanctuary – a place she should never be. She was encouraged when the other woman smiled warmly at her. Rick closed the door behind her. "I guess Grace told you."

She nodded in affirmation. "It's a bit of a shock."

The blonde could understand, having felt the same thing earlier. "It's something we should have expected. They were close for a long time." Karen took the armchair when Rick joined Lily on the bed. "But yeah, shock is pretty accurate."

"What do we do?" the man asked. "Is there anything we can do?"

"They're adults," Lily reasoned. "Eli and Grace wouldn't be doing anything wrong." She glanced at Karen and said quietly, "Would they?"

"They're not blood relations."

"Still, they're dating could divide the family. If the break-up was messy."

"How do you know they would break up?" Rick asked. "I mean, they could stay together and get married."

Both women shrugged. Karen said, "They're young still. It's improbable."

"I know what my son told me," he told them. "I saw the look in his eye when he said it. He loves Grace."

"I agree," Eli's mother said. "He feels incredibly guilty because he couldn't shut his feelings off."

Lily hated to be the voice of dissention, but it was up to her to play devil's advocate. "There are still a lot of factors. For one, they're eight hundred miles apart. Neither of them has been in a very committed relationship. These things take work – add all of the extra factors and it could be a disaster waiting to happen."

"Is it really our place to make that decision?" Rick asked. "If they should decide to go ahead and try, then our disapproval will only hurt them. I think the only thing we can do is support them."

"And if it destroys our family?" Lily asked quietly.

"We have to love them, Lil. We're the parents and it's the only thing we can do."

They all three knew he was right.

* * *

Grace was sitting on the couch, staring into space when Eli sat beside her. He didn't say anything, just reached over and took her hand. He gently locked their fingers and let their hands drop between them. Grace didn't respond to his action. 

He knew she was upset and felt bad because he was the reason. Eli knew he shouldn't have said anything. Grace was happy and he'd intentionally disrupted that. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

She looked over at him. "Why?"

He didn't answer. "I used to apologize because I felt like I had to. I would do something that upset someone and even though I didn't care, I'd say I was sorry. I guess I felt responsible."

"Is that why you said it?"

Eli shook his head. "The last thing I wanted to do was cause you pain."

"Why do you care about me, Eli?"

"Why shouldn't I care about you, Grace?" He smiled and squeezed her hand. "You're light and beautiful. You know how to laugh with your whole being. You never abandoned me when I screwed up." He turned his hazel eyes to her brown. "You are always the person I come back to. I knew what love was, Grace, when I met you. Sometimes I don't think I understood until you taught me, though."

"We could be really bad at this." Grace exhaled and a tear slipped down her face. She held herself still as Eli caught it with his thumb. "We might destroy something good."

"We might," he agreed. "Or it could be what we've both been waiting for."

"How do we know?" she questioned. "How do we know if it's right or wrong?"

Eli leaned forward and kissed her gently. He briefly swept his tongue over her lips, but tasted salt and immediately stopped. "Does it feel right or wrong?"

She studied his face, trying to read how he was feeling. His body was stiff and slightly turned away, as if he was totally prepared for another rejection, but his eyes... His eyes were pleading with her. Grace couldn't resist their appeal, and this time she was the one who kissed him, bringing her free hand to his shoulder in order to pull him close. She deepened the kiss with one sweep of her tongue, going with what her heart was telling her.

She'd loved him once and never really let go of that. There was a chance things would fall apart for the both of them – there were a lot of things they hadn't talked about – but for this moment she wanted to be with him. "Eli," she sighed.

It felt so good. She was finally giving in to what she'd felt for so long. He was the one who broke the kiss, pulling back. His eyes were full of love for her and she smiled. "We have to take this one step at a time," Grace said softly. "We can't…" she lifted her eyes upward and hoped he understood. "There are a lot of things we have to talk about still."

Eli pulled her into a hug and kissed her hair. His heart was overflowing with love for her. "I love you," he whispered.

"Eli…"

He sighed deeply and apologized. "But I do, Grace."

She put her fingers to his lips to stop his words. It felt awkward, him apologizing for loving her. Grace knew first hand loving someone wasn't something you could flip on and off. Either you did or you didn't. "I just need some time."

Eli closed his eyes and nodded. He wanted to be with her and was willing to do anything she asked. "Anything you want."

Grace studied him like that, not sure what he was thinking. Things were so odd between them now. Even though she told him she'd changed – that she'd gotten over her infatuation with him – sitting here like this, she felt just like that girl again. Eli was sitting right in front of her, wanting to love her, but she didn't think she could. Things between them weren't right and she couldn't pretend anymore.

He opened his eyes when he felt her move. "Grace?" he asked. His smile faltered when she didn't turn around. She said she needed more time, but to Eli it felt like her decision was made. At that moment he wanted more than anything to be back in New York.

* * *

_Author's Note: The next couple of parts might be slow in coming out - I hope to finish this soon, but I'm balancing writing with work and sleep. I have Part VII finished, but nothing beyond that. All in all, I think it's only going to be about 10 parts. Maybe I'll find some time and can finish the story by the weekend. _

_Thanks to all of you who are being patient and reading. Your responses really make it worth it._


	7. Perfect Last Day

**Part VII: Perfect Last Day**

Grace pulled herself out of bed when the doorbell chimed for the second time. Whoever was on the other side was going to _die_. She forgot her robe, her brain too sleep-clouded to be proper this early. Yanking the door open, she glared at Eli. "What do you want?"

He smiled, clearly amused. "Did I wake you?"

The brunette immediately went to shut the door. Stupid, smart-ass boys. Eli stuck his foot in the doorframe, stopping her. "Sorry. Can I come in?"

"It's seven a.m.," she said, stating the obvious. "What do you want?" Grace still did not move to let him in her apartment.

"Jessie dropped me off on her way to a friends. I thought we could spend the day together."

"Why?" She'd hardly seen him since five days ago when she'd stupidly given in and kissed him.

"Seemed like the thing to do." He motioned towards his laptop case and guitar. "Can I come in?"

Grace considered her options for a moment, before stepping to the side. "Couldn't you have come by at, I don't know, ten? Why seven?"

"That's when Jessie was leaving. You can go back to bed if you want."

She eyed him carefully. "What would you do then?"

Eli motioned towards the supplies he brought with him. "I know you're working on a paper or something, so I was just planning on working on some songs."

"You couldn't have done that at home?"

"I could have," he agreed. "But then I wouldn't have been able to spend New Years Eve with you."

His words stopped her. She'd almost forgotten he'd promised to give up pursuing her on New Years Day. He wasn't going to go away easily. "Eli."

His hazel eyes turned back to hers and he smiled. "I'm not going away. Why don't you go shower, and I'll make us some breakfast."

"I don't have food."

"Then shower and I'll go get something," he suggested. "Give me a key and I'll be back before you know it."

"Eli," Grace hesitated. She wanted to say something to him… something that might change his mind. The brunette felt he was setting himself up for a major letdown.

He came to her, putting two hands on her shoulders. "I'm not going away," he told her softly. After steering her into her bedroom, he repeated, "Take your shower. I'll be back in a few."

Grace found herself agreeing, even if it wasn't what she really wanted. It was too hard to tell him no. "Eli," she stopped him.

"Yeah?"

She picked her keys up off the dresser. "You'll need this." Grace finished taking her apartment key off the ring and tossed it to him. "See you in a little."

Eli closed his fist around the key and smiled. "Thanks. Any preference for breakfast?"

Grace shrugged. "Surprise me?"

His smile turned into a full grin. "Will do. Bye."

When Grace heard the lock turn in the living room, she closed her bedroom door. She began to undress, going through the motions she practiced each morning. It wasn't until she looked into the mirror that she realized she was smiling.

Even if she didn't realize it, Grace Manning was in serious trouble.

* * *

Eli was surprised that the water was still running when he returned. Instead of grabbing something quick, he'd chosen to go to the fresh food market on the corner. They had a good selection of the fresh fruits and vegetables he needed to make breakfast. He knew Grace would be more impressed with a homemade breakfast and not powdered doughnuts. It was easy to locate the supplies in the kitchen, though he was surprised that some of her utensils looked unused. Earlier he'd opened a drawer stuffed full of take-out menus, so it was possible that she never cooked.

There was a small radio on the counter and he easily found a station he liked. Eli was careful to not turn it up too loud and then went to work.

Grace appeared ten minutes later, fully dressed. The smells coming from her kitchen had pulled her out of the bedroom. "Eli?"

He turned, a spatula in one hand and saltshaker in the other. "Hey." His eyes skimmed over her wet hair and fresh clothes. "Nice shower?"

She pushed some hair out of her face. "Yeah. What're you making?"

"Omelets."

"Smells good." Grace went to stand beside him. "Can I help?"

"I've got it," he said, expertly flipping the eggs. "Why don't you just sit over there? I'll be finished in a few minutes."

The brunette found she didn't really want to sit on the sidelines, but did so anyway. It was different, seeing this side of Eli. He looked so… domesticated. Not to mention, at home, in her kitchen. Grace watched as he opened a few cabinet doors before finding the plates. He served their breakfast up, before going to the refrigerator and taking out a platter of fresh fruit and a carton of orange juice. After adding the fruit and getting some silverware, Eli joined her at the bar. "The last time I tried to make omelets, it turned into scrambled eggs halfway through," she told him. "My mom is such a great cook, why didn't I ever ask for lessons?"

"Well, when food is just a phone call away, you don't need to know how to cook, do you?" Something inside twisted when she blushed prettily. "You don't have a table."

Grace took the plate he gave her, immediately taking a bit of the omelet. Her taste buds were assaulted by the goodness of eggs, peppers, and cheese. "It's just me," she said around the food. "Don't need a table. And I don't eat take out every night."

"Just six out of seven?" he teased. "I noticed you didn't have a roommate." Eli studied her for a moment, pleased with himself. After she'd taken her second bite, he started eating himself.

"Been there, done that. I hated it." Grace took another bite. "Mom brings food over a lot. I think she sometimes forget it's just her, Rick, Will, and Zoë. She'll cook these huge meals and then have too much food. Usually she or Rick will drop it by."

"Cool. It's kind of convenient, no? One of the reasons I learned to cook was because I missed Lily's cooking." The conversation reached its natural end, so Eli asked, "What was the deal with our roommate?"

Grace speared a piece of strawberry with her fork. "My roommate was loud, messy, and she slept with my boyfriend."

That stopped him. "Boyfriend?"

She continued eating, not answering his question. "Boyfriend?" he asked again. Eli put his fork down and reached for the glass of orange juice. "When was this?"

"A couple of years ago." She took another bite and noticed he wasn't eating. "What's wrong?"

"How many years ago?" Eli questioned. Something was nagging at him. Had she been dating this guy when they were together? "Two? Three? Five?"

The brunette sensed what he was getting at. "Three. It wasn't serious. Just someone that I liked for awhile and we went out sometimes. That ended when I came home to find him leaving her room one afternoon."

"So this didn't start until after we…?"

"Had sex?" she questioned. Grace noticed that he flinched at her terminology. "No, this was way after that. Like I said, it wasn't serious. What's the big deal?"

Eli watched her pick up her fork and start eating again. Even though it'd been three years ago, he still felt a pit grow in his stomach. Since their time together, he felt they sort of belonged to each other. Yes, he'd seen other woman since then, but it was never serious. And they were never anything but substitutes for what he really wanted. Was he really going to make a big deal about Grace dating someone a couple of years ago? Especially since he was the idiot who screwed things between them to start with?

He still wasn't eating and Grace paused. "Eli?"

Shrugging off the feeling, he started eating again. Looking up, he gave her a hesitant smile. He just couldn't let it go. "How long did you go out?"

"Are we really talking about this?"

"If it wasn't serious, how long did you date him?"

"What's with all the questions?" Grace asked. She studied him carefully – the straightness of his back, how his hands were curled into fists, and his aloofness about the situation. "Are you… Eli, are you jealous?"

"What?"

The brunette smiled. "You are. Why are you jealous?"

"I'm not jealous," he denied. "I'm just trying to find out about your life."

"Uh huh." Grace reached over and covered his hand with hers. "Michael and I went on dates for about eight months."

"That's pretty long term to not be serious."

Of course, Grace knew Eli considered anything more than a month to be long term. "It was really a pretty typical college relationship. We met in a class, had lunch together a few times, and it progressed from there. I cared about him, but it was evident it was never going to be anything more. After I discovered him with Sue, I broke things off completely."

"I'm not jealous," he told her again. Though silently he wondered. Even to his ears he sounded jealous. "I was just… curious."

She didn't say anything, but went back to her breakfast. "This is really good. Where'd you learn to cook like this?"

Eli blushed and stuffed his mouth full of food, mumbling something. "What was that?" Grace asked.

He swallowed carefully before looking at her. "I took a basic cooking class."

"You what?" In her mind, she could clearly picture the man sitting across from her in an apron and chef's hat. It made her laugh. "Eli Sammler in a cooking class?"

His hazel eyes danced at her amusement. "Go ahead, laugh away. But know this: when you finish laughing, you'll finish your omelet."

"It's just hard to believe," she said around giggles. "A cooking class? Why?"

"I worked in a restaurant for awhile. It looked interesting."

Once she calmed herself down completely, Grace leaned forward. "You have to tell me the whole story."

"I just did," he told her. "I worked in a restaurant for awhile. It looked interesting."

"That's it?" Grace questioned. "There has to be more to it than that! Lots of people work in restaurants, but don't feel the need to go to school to learn how to cook. And you… you _hated_ school. Why would you go back?"

Even if she hadn't said it, Eli could still hear the other questions. Yes, he'd hated school, but this was different. This was something he wanted to do – there was no one to get him out of bed each morning, no one telling him it was something he had to do – it was just something he'd _wanted_. Eli pushed his plate away and stood. "I'm finished."

"Eli." Grace sighed when he turned his back on her, taking his plate to the sink. She popped one more slice of fruit in her mouth before standing. "Eli, don't be like this."

"Like what?" he asked, not bothering to look at her. "I know what you wanted to say, Grace. You wanted to tell me that I was a screw up, that I'd never take a class voluntarily. That I'd never get up at seven in the morning for Saturdays on end to attend this class, just to learn how to make an omelet. Well, guess what, Gracie? I did."

She could hear the bitterness in his voice. "That's not what I saying at all," she said softly. "I just… it's so out of your character."

He turned to her then. "How do you know? Do you even know who I am anymore, Grace?" Eli closed his eyes and exhaled. He could feel the anger seeping out of him. "It was a mistake coming here. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you come?" Grace prodded him. "Why wake up at dawn to come over on the last day of the year? Why bring your laptop and guitar, huh? Why pull me out of bed, make me this amazing breakfast, then tell me it was all a mistake? Why'd you do any of that Eli?"

"Because I wanted to!"

She flinched at his tone. "And you always do what you want, don't you? Maybe you haven't changed at all. Maybe you're still the spoiled little boy who pouts when he doesn't get his way and doesn't know when to quit."

Eli turned on her, backing her against the refrigerator. "Something's haven't changed, Grace. I'll give you that. I hate not winning and I do whatever I want whenever I want." He continued to advance on her and Grace was helpless to stop him.

"But I'm not a quitter. That's all I knew how to do in high school, but I'm not that guy anymore. Just like you said – you don't ever want to be that girl again. Well, I'll never be him again. But yeah, some things are still the same. For instance, I'm still crazy about you."

He closed the last bit of space between them. Eli bent down so that he was standing nose-to-nose with her. "But you haven't changed that much either. No matter how much you deny it, you feel it too. You'll always want me, despite what you say."

Grace lifted her hands and planted them on his chest. She meant to push him away, but then his hands closed around her wrists and she was pulling him forward. She questioned what the point of fighting fate was right before his lips settled over hers.

He kissed her over and over, using different techniques. One moment he was pushing her into the refrigerator behind her, eagerly drinking from her mouth. The next she would be clinging to his mouth as she tried to take all of him in. They kissed for a long time, both too wrapped up in each other to notice anything around them. When Grace finally broke for air, Eli continued kissing her. He planted kisses across her nose and on each of her eyes. He kissed her ear, before following the curve of her face to her chin. He went down her throat and his tongue settled into the dip there, licking eagerly. His teeth nipped at her collarbone and she moaned. Back up to her mouth, Grace eagerly accepted him again.

"Grace," he moaned. Eli started to feel the effects of all of the kissing. His blood was rushing away from his head and to other parts of his body. "We have to stop."

"Why?" Her hands were on the back of his neck, urging him forward. "It feels too good."

Closing his eyes, Eli stepped backwards. His hands went up to cover hers and he exhaled loudly. "We have to stop." He looked down at her and saw brown eyes clouded over with lust. It was almost enough to make him kiss her again. "This isn't… I didn't come here for this."

Her eyes drifted shut and Grace licked her lips, wanting to taste him again. "Why did you come?"

"You'll laugh if I tell you."

"Tell me."

He hesitated, not sure how she would react to his admission. When her eyes opened, full of questions, he began. "I…you're supposed to spend the last day of the year doing what you want to do for the next year. Or so I've heard. So I thought, if I came here, and spent the last day with you… maybe it would be a good start for the next year."

"Really?"

Eli nodded. "But now that you know my master plan, I'm afraid I have to leave."

Grace wouldn't let go of his hands. "Why?"

"I've been discovered. If you know what I'm doing it's no fun. I've let you in on the secret plot."

"I don't want you to go."

"Really?" He smiled, pleased with himself again. "Why's that?"

She felt her cheeks grow red from embarrassment and looked away. "I just don't want you to."

"Not good enough. Give me a real reason or I'm gone."

Grace heard the teasing in his voice and didn't think he would really leave. But she would give him what he wanted anyway. "Well, you are my stepbrother and I know you're going back to New York soon. I thought we might hang out before you go back."

"Stepbrother, huh?" Their hands were still clasped, so he pulled her forward. Eli kissed her quickly, liking the moan that came from the back of her throat. "Is that your real reason?"

She smiled up at him. "That and the fact that Mom asked me to be nice to you."

"You're going to pay for that one, Manning."

The brunette pulled him down for another kiss. "Not if you can't catch me, Sammler." Pulling her hands away, she took off running.


	8. Come Away With Me

**Part VIII: Come Away With Me**

"I used to want to be a doctor."

"Hmm?" Grace looked up from her laptop, where she was carefully editing her thesis.

"I just thought about that. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor."

"Why? They're overworked and it's just not… you."

Eli looked up at her from the floor. "What does that mean?"

She smiled warmly at him. "It's nothing against you, E. The very first time I saw you, I knew you were an artist. Why's this coming up now?"

He shrugged. "Not sure. It just crossed my mind." Eli glanced back down at his computer. "It would have been easier, you know?"

"Easier how?" The brunette frowned. "Where's this coming from? You're doing exactly what you want to do."

"On Mom and Dad, I think. On Lily. I was the oldest… I should have been someone you, Jessie, and Zoë could look up to. Instead, I'm _this_."

Her frown deepened, forming a line across her forehead. "I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that." Grace moved the computer from her lap and swung her feet around. She eased herself onto the floor, sitting next to him. "It wouldn't have mattered, Eli, if you were unhappy."

"I might not have been unhappy."

"At the risk of reopening old wounds, you didn't exactly like school. Doctors are in school for a long, long time."

"True. But I could have done better. I could have… I could have easily brought home good grades, Grace. I just didn't… care."

"I know." She studied him, trying to peak inside of his mind. All of this was so sudden, so random. "I don't know if it would have been easier, E. Yeah, you could have done it. I know that. But still… you have a job you love, in a city you love, doing what you want to do."

"I'm not with my family," he told her. "Sometimes I realize how much I'm missing out on. Will is so big, Jess is in college now, and you…" Eli trailed off. He placed his laptop on the coffee table and turned to face her. "Would it have made any difference if I'd been here?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I'd been here… five years ago, if I hadn't gone back to New York. Would that have changed things?"

"I don't know." Her voice was low and she sounded unsure. It was a good question. Where would they be now if he hadn't left? "That's something we'll never know. But I think that's a good thing."

"Good how?"

Grace reached up and cupped his jaw in her hand. Leaning forward, she kissed him gently. She kept her hand to his face when she pulled back, and said, "You and I needed that time to grow apart, Eli. Even if you don't see it now, I'm not sure we would have made it this far if we'd started then. We weren't ready then."

"And now?" he asked quietly.

"I…I don't know." Her eyes dropped and she couldn't look at him. "Where do you see this going?"

"You're the only one for me, Grace."

She looked up quickly, shocked by his admission. "How do you know?"

"I just do." Eli wanted to give her words she would find reassuring, but he wasn't sure he could. Could he put into words what he'd felt for her for so long? "It's the way I miss you sometimes. I'll be at home and think you're in the next room. Or I'm walking down a busy street and I'll see you. Sometimes I think I'm chasing your phantom around New York. Do you remember the day in your room?"

"Which day?"

"When Jessie walked in… we almost…"

"Kissed," she finished for him. "Yeah, I remember."

"I think that was the start of it. Or at least, that's when I became aware of it. I was upset about Carla, but then… you were there and I wasn't anymore. When she left, I started hanging out with you because you made me forget. The pain and loneliness would go away when we were together. Eventually, though, it stopped being about her and started being about you. I wanted to be with you just to be with you."

"Eli—"

"No," he stopped her. "I want to tell you this. I want you to know how long I've cared." Eli searched her brown eyes, needing her to be ready for his omission. He'd been carrying his feelings around him for so long, and suddenly he _needed_ to tell her. She needed to know the how and why of his love for her. "You always took care of me. I know you think I never noticed, but I did. If I skipped school, you'd get my assignments… you'd cover for me with our parents, you always had my back. I didn't understand why, though. But then, I think I understood. When you care about someone… when you _love_ someone, that's what you're supposed to do, right?"

Silently, she nodded.

"I tried to show you then, when you were still in high school, but I did such a bad job of it. More often than not, I was a jerk. Then, you graduated and went off to college, and I couldn't help but feel I wasn't good enough for you." Eli pressed his fingers to her lips to stop anything she might say. "Even if you never thought that, I did. Part of a relationship… part of loving someone, is being able to take care of them. When you left for school, I wasn't able to give you that. I could barely take care of myself.

"I had a year to think about that, then I decided to leave myself. Lily and Dad were busy being parents to a toddler, Zoë didn't need me around. You were out of the house, and Jessie was leaving. So, one afternoon I bought a map, closed my eyes, and pointed. When I opened my eyes, my finger was sitting on Manhattan. That's where I went."

"_That's_ why you went?" she questioned. "It was just luck that you ended up in New York?"

Eli shrugged. "It was the best place for me. I wanted to grow up and I did. Going there made me a man." He eyed her carefully when she laughed. "What? It did."

"Just hearing you put it that way," she giggled. "Such strange phrasing."

"Anyway," he continued, "After I'd been there awhile, I started to realize a lot of things about myself. Like how much I relied on you… how much I needed you in my life. I came home for Christmas with intentions of telling you so, but then…we happened, and I was an idiot.

"I didn't realize it at the time, of course. It wasn't until a year later – the next Christmas – when I saw you did I really see what I'd thrown away. For the last few years, I've been trying to make that up to you. I haven't done a very good job, I can see that now. This year, I promised myself I'd at least talk to you. I tried to call the night before I saw you, but I couldn't say the words. It wasn't something you say over the phone. I needed to see you. When you picked me up at the airport, I knew I had too. I felt like I was seeing you for the first time since that day in your bedroom so long ago."

Grace leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. She knew he'd just spilled his heart to her and she wasn't sure what to say in return. She loved Eli, that much she knew. But did she want what he wanted? Did she want to walk away from everything she knew in order to be with him? Was she willing to make that sacrifice? Was she ready to trust him with her heart again? What's more, was she ready to trust him with her body?

"Grace," Eli said very quietly. Leaning over, he pressed his lips to her forehead. "I want you to come to New York with me."

"What?"

"When I fly back, I want you to come with me."

"Eli…"

He looked at her, his eyes trying to read her expression. He knew this moment would make or break them. "What do you think?"

"You want to know now?" she questioned. "I can't make a decision like that, E."

"But you can. We're standing at a fork in the road, Grace. This may be the last chance we have… I've broken your heart and you've broken mine. But we still have this moment, this chance, to be together."

"It's so sudden."

Eli shifted so he was sitting directly in front of her. He took her hands in his, running his fingers over her knuckles. "Please, Grace." He frowned when she looked down. "Listen… I may not be the smartest guy on the block, but even I see there's something real between us. It doesn't matter why or how it started, it only matters what we decide to do with it. I won't apologize any more for the mistakes I've made in the past. The guy I used to be is gone, replaced with someone who was born the day you kissed me. I only want the chance to prove to you we have something real, something lasting. Will you give me that opportunity, Grace?"

The tears she'd been holding back spilled down her cheeks. It was all too much and she knew she was overwhelmed. "Do you have to know now?"

"No. I'm leaving for New York on the third, my plane leaves at two that afternoon. You don't have to tell me until then."

Grace leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him. "Okay. I just need some time, that's all. I need to think about it."

His arms came up, pulling her closer. His hazel eyes closed as he breathed in the scent that was so uniquely Grace. It wasn't exactly the answer he wanted, but it was good enough. She was at least willing to consider the possibility – she still might say yes. It was all he had at the moment, so it had to be enough. Eli pulled her onto his lap and leaned against the couch. No matter what she said in four days, he could hold her now. It was enough.

* * *

"Are you in love with my brother?"

Grace turned, stunned, to face Jessie. "What?"

"You've been watching him all night," the blonde observed. "Lily and Dad have been whispering about something… Eli wanted me to drop him off at your apartment this morning. What's going on, Grace?"

The brunette knew her face was burning crimson. "Nothing."

"Try that on Will, I'm sure he's the only one in this family who would believe you. And that's only because he wasn't around when we were teenagers."

"Jessie."

She eyed her stepsister over the rim of her wine glass. "I only want you to tell me the truth. He's my brother and I know him. I guessed he cared about you years ago. You… you were always a bit harder to read."

"Really?" Grace asked. "I always thought my feelings for him were transparent to everyone."

"In high school, yes. But you've grown up since then. You've gotten better and hiding things from us… actually, until a few days ago, I was convinced you were completely indifferent to Eli."

"We're siblings," the brunette answered. "If there's something more going on, I don't know how to name it. Other than that, we're friends."

"You're lying."

Grace blushed again. "Jess, it's not you. I just… _I_ don't know for sure what it is, so how can I tell you? I don't want to tell you one thing, and then it turn out to be something different. I don't want you to think I've lied to you and I especially don't want whatever is happening between Eli and myself to affect you."

"It does," Jessie told her. "It affects all of us, Grace. You and Eli… you're more than siblings. You're more than friends, and you always have been. I saw it then and I see it now."

She took a long swallow from her wine glass and looked down. What could she say? Jessie was right – but more than that, Jessie was one of her closest friends and they had worked too long at having some sort of friendly relationship to let this come between them. "I love him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. But," she continued, "That doesn't necessarily mean anything. Eli and I have talked about the future and neither of us are sure what happens next."

"Have you told him you love him?"

"No."

Jessie studied her carefully. "Has he told you he loves you?"

"Jessie—"

"Has he?"

Her brown eyes dropped to the floor. "Yes."

"Then what's the hold up?"

"It's not as easy as you think. We have two separate lives, Jessie. We're not in high school anymore – I can't just sneak off to the garage to spend time with him. There are other people we have to think about than ourselves. This isn't a fairy tale."

"Why can't it be?" Jessie urged. "Why not ride off into the sunset with him?"

"What fairy tale do you know where the hero and heroine are stepsiblings, Jess? Tell me what book you've read where that's the plot?" Jessie was silent as Grace glared at her. "Okay, then you should see this isn't as easy as you think. I care about Eli a lot, but even I don't know how this story ends."

The blonde wasn't satisfied with her sister's answer, but knew Grace was right. It _wasn't_ a fairy tale. Jessie was kind of glad they weren't throwing caution to the wind and forgetting about the rest of them. "I love you and I love my brother. I'll be there for both of you, no matter what happens."

The older girl stepped forward and hugged the young woman she'd had so many problems with growing up. "Thank you."

When they separated, Jessie went off to find her date and Grace went in search of their parents. This was Rick's company party and she knew she needed to do a better job at helping out.

Eli kept an eye on her the rest of the night. He'd witnessed the exchange between his sister and Grace, at times wondering if he needed to intervene. He couldn't hear the conversation, but he had a fair idea what the topic was. Jessie was the one person left to explain himself too.

When it was almost midnight, Eli joined the rest of his family for a toast. His father gave a nice speech, wishing all who were present a successful and profitable New Year and Eli raised his glass in agreement. He was a bit surprised when Grace found his hand, wrapping her fingers around his. Looking down, she was smiling up at him. There was a glassy look in her eyes. "Everything okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I just want to share this moment with you."

He heard the countdown begin to grow louder, as members of their party started in with the television. When they reached ten, Eli could wait no longer. Leaning down, he kissed her.

When he meant to pull away, Grace wrapped an arm around his neck, keeping him there. His free arm went around her back and he tugged her closer. The kiss deepened, his tongue silently asking for entrance. She did not deny him.

As New York and their party celebrated something that would not happen in Chicago for another hour, Eli continued to kiss her. He could hear the people around him, but they didn't matter. All that mattered was the brunette pressed against his body, the woman he'd been crazy about for years. Maybe they'd had a rough week, but it seemed like things might turn out okay. He loved her and while she hadn't said so, Eli was sure she felt something more than familial love for him.

When she finally started to break the kiss, Grace pulled back and peppered his cheeks and nose with kisses. "Happy New Years, Eli."

"Not quite," he smiled. "But that was a nice way to start."

She blushed, but didn't look away. Grace hoped he could see her feelings for him in her eyes.

Eli brushed his lips against hers again. He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled her against him tightly. "I'm so glad we're here."

The brunette hugged him back. "Come back to my apartment with me," she said quietly.

"What?"

"Tonight. Come home with me."

He pulled back, studying her carefully. "Are you… Grace, are you drunk?"

She smiled at him. "No. I know what I'm asking, Eli. I want you."

"I don't think we should," he told her.

Grace shifted against him, her thigh pressing into the junction between his. "That's not the impression I'm getting."

Eli blushed and looked away. "I don't think this is a good idea, Grace."

"I do. We're adults Eli. We both want this… so please, will you come?"

"Grace—"

"Please?" she asked again.

He knew at that moment he could never deny her anything. "I'll get our coats."

Leaning up, she kissed him quickly. "I'll tell Mom and Rick. Meet me at the door in two minutes?"

Grace went to her parents, not sure what she was going to say. They were dancing apart from the other couples, seeming to have found a spot where they could be alone. "Gracie."

She shifted on her feet, feeling like she was intruding. "Eli and I are going to go."

"What?" Lily asked. "It's not midnight yet. And what do you mean, 'Eli and I'?"

"Mom."

Rick could feel how tense his wife was beside him, but he knew this was important. He'd seen the kiss the young couple had shared earlier, he'd seen how close they'd danced, and he'd seen the way they had arrived together. While Rick wasn't sure he agreed with their decision, he understood that it was theirs to make. "Have a good night, Grace. Tell Eli I'll see him tomorrow."

The brunette smiled gratefully at her stepfather. "Thanks, Rick." Grace turned to her mother, eyes wary. "Mom?"

Lily stepped away from her husband and towards her oldest daughter. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Grace nodded.

Her mother struggled visibly for a moment, before finally letting go. Her daughter and Eli were adults and Lily knew she had to let them make their own decisions. "Do you love him?"

"Yes."

The black-haired woman stepped closer to her daughter, taking her hands. She leaned forward, kissing her cheek. "Remember to protect yourself," she whispered in her ear. Lily hugged her daughter one more time. "Have fun."

The younger woman stepped back, smiling. "Thank you." She squeezed her mother's hands, before pulling back. "Eli's waiting for me."

Lily and Rick watched as Grace walked away, going to meet Eli. They saw him hold out a coat for her, helping her into it. They watched as he placed a gentle hand on her back, guiding her away from them.

"Our kids are grown up, aren't they?" she asked.

Her husband looked down at her and nodded. "Yes." Rick wrapped his arms around her. "But don't worry, Will still needs us for a few years yet."

Lily was comforted by that.

_A/N: There will very likely be a NC-17 cookie that goes along with this – I'll put a note up with the next chapter, since that material is not allowed here.  
_


	9. Love Me, Leave Me

_A/N: There is a NC-17 rated part that goes before this – it hasn't been posted here – but if you're interested in reading it, please e-mail me at 'smprsfan' at aoldotcom. Except, you know, make that a real e-mail address. _

**Part IX – Love Me, Leave Me**

Lily Sammler was a woman on a mission. Actually, to correct that, she was a _mother_ on a mission. She'd been trying to talk with Grace about Eli for the last two days now, but the two were inseparable. Eli hadn't spent the night in his room above the garage the last three nights because he'd stayed with Grace. Finally, after convincing Rick to take Eli out for lunch, she was going to get some answers from her oldest daughter.

When Grace answered the door she was wearing old sweats and tennis shoes. Her brown hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and she looked busy. Her mother smiled tentatively. "Bad time"

"No." The younger woman opened the door a little wider. "Come in."

When she thought about it later, Lily knew nothing would prepare her for what she was about to see. Grace's living room and kitchen were scattered with boxes, some of them overflowing with her belongings. "Gracie."

"Mom," she started, "I'm not sure what to say. I've been trying to tell you for two days now—"

"Gracie, are you… are you _moving_" Lily studied her daughter carefully. Grace only nodded. "I don't, I mean, this is just… where are you moving to?"

"New York," Grace answered.

"**What!**"

Her daughter stepped forward and took her hand. She led Lily to an empty space on the couch, then sat before her on the coffee table. "I'm moving to New York. I'm going with Eli."

"Grace," Lily sighed. "I don't understand. This is so… sudden. Where is this coming from?"

The brunette paused, trying to come up with the best way to answer. In truth, she didn't completely understand either. "He asked me a few days ago. I want to go, Mom."

"What about school," her mother questioned. "What about your life? Your family? You're just going to walk away from it all?"

"I'm not walking away from all of that, Mom. I'm walking toward Eli. His work and his life are in New York."

"Why is his life more important than yours? Why are you the one making the sacrifice?"

"Mom."

Lily took her daughter's hand in her own. "Gracie, I'm not… I want you to be happy. But this thing with Eli, it's so new. Even if you had a fling a few years ago, that's in the past. You've changed since then. You've grown. How do you know this is what you want?"

Grace wasn't sure how to answer the questions. If she was honest with herself, she knew it wasn't exactly what she wanted. However, more than anything, she wanted Eli. She wanted to be with Eli. If that meant going to New York, then she would. "I love him."

"Can't you love him in Chicago?" the older woman questioned. "Couldn't you wait six months, couldn't you graduate first? I understand that you want to be with him, Grace. I do. I'm not trying to separate you. I just… you're so close to getting what you've worked so hard for. You have dreams and I don't want you to let them go.

"I've been where you are, honey. Choosing between my dreams and the man that I love. I chose the latter and then I held it against him. For years I resented Jake because I felt he left me no choice. I don't want that to happen to you."

"I'm not you," Grace inserted. "And Eli isn't Dad. We're not like you. I need him in my life and I don't want to be without him. There are schools in New York. I could transfer to NYU and start again in the fall. I just want to be with him."

"Just think about it for a minute. Really think about it. Do you… can you really leave this? Your apartment, your life, your _family_, and school to be with him? Do you want him that much? Do you _love_ him that much" Lily stood and moved away from her oldest daughter. She stopped at the doorway to the kitchen and watched her carefully, before moving through the doorway to be by herself.

Grace dropped her head into her hands, turning her mothers word over in her mind. Did she really want to do this? If their situations were reversed, would Eli do the same for her?

She was sure the answer was yes. Since he'd returned, Eli was different. He was sorry for his past mistakes and she knew he really loved her. The time they'd spent together over the last few days told her that much. And Grace had always loved him, in one capacity or another. Eli made her whole.

Yet, her mother did have a point. She would be walking away from her _life_ for something entirely new in New York. She was one semester short of graduation and Grace was certain the University was going to ask her back in some capacity. She'd built a good life for herself here and leaving that would be scary. Especially since she faced so many unknowns in New York.

But, Eli was in New York. His life and his work were there. And she loved him enough to walk away from everything. There were planes, telephones, and Internet connections to keep her in touch with her family. She could transfer and finish her degree in New York. Her life, her place was with him. She was more sure of that than anything.

When her mother reentered a few minutes later, carrying two cups of steaming liquid, Grace smiled up at her. The older woman looked at her for a long time, tears coming to her eyes. Finally, Lily nodded and gave her a watery smile. "Let's drink our tea, then I'll help you pack."

The brunette smiled brighter, even though it was making her heart hurt. "Thanks Mom."

* * *

The next morning, Grace awoke in the circle of Eli's arms and sighed happily. She couldn't think of a better way to start her last day in Chicago. After their talk the previous day, her mother had helped her pack the rest of her belongings. It hadn't taken long and Lily had promised to send whatever she needed once she got settled the store the rest of it. The only thing that hadn't been packed was a change of clothes and shoes, her toiletries, two towels, and her bed dressings.

As she lay there, deciding what she wanted to do first, Grace felt Eli move beside her. His arms tightened and he kissed the shell of her ear. "Are you awake?"

Turning on her side, she looked at him. "Hey you."

"Hey you back." Eli leaned in and kissed her lips softly. "Sleep well?"

She nodded. "Sorry I pooped out on you last night. I was tired."

"No problem. It was fine, you had a long day. I know talking to your Mom couldn't have been easy."

Grace shook her head. "It was one of the hardest things I've ever done" she admitted. "I was so afraid she wouldn't understand. I'm still not sure if she does."

"She does." Eli looked at her reassuringly before he continued. "She loves you, Grace. She always has and always will. That's what parents do and it took me a long time to learn that."

"I still feel like I'm letting her down. I hate feeling like that."

"I know."

She looked at him, expecting him to say more. Didn't he have any words of wisdom or maybe some advice? Wasn't there something she could say to her mom that would make her see she was making the right choice? Wasn't there something she could say to _herself_ to make her see she was making the right choice. "Why do you love New York?" she asked him suddenly.

"What?"

"Why do you love New York? You can write songs anywhere, Eli. Why there?"

He considered her question, turning it over in his mind. Why _did_ he love New York? Why did he feel at home there. "It's the best city in America."

"Really? I've always been partial to Chicago."

"It's great here," he agreed. "If I hadn't grown up in Chicago, I wouldn't have made it in New York. I'm not sure I can explain it, but the first time I stepped out into crisp autumn air, I felt like I'd finally come home."

"Do you still feel like that?"

"Kind of. Over the last several years, I've realized that home isn't a place. It's a feeling. Flying back felt like coming home as well. There are things I love about New York that no other city has. It's a great place to live, but I think I finally get it."

"Get what?"

His arms tightened around her and he kissed her forehead. "I'm only really at home when I'm with you. When I left Chicago I needed New York and I needed to be at home there. But, since I came back, being here with you like this… this is home. My home is where you are."

"What if I'd said no?" Grace questioned. "What if I couldn't go with you"

"Then I'd find a way to get back to you." Eli watched her carefully before asking, "Grace, are you having second thoughts?"

She shook her head. "I just… it's a _big_ step, Eli. I have so many questions… what if it doesn't work out? What if I get there, what if I… we just fall a part?"

"It won't happen."

"How do you know?" She reached up and touched his face, her fingertips dancing across his skin. "How do you… how can you be so sure?"

"I know I love you" he told her. "That's the only thing I need to know. I want to be with you, Grace. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. What I should ask though, is if you want the same thing? Do you love me, Grace?"

"Yes."

"Would you… do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

Silently, Grace nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Grace knew it was true, but being with Eli wasn't the only thing she wanted for the rest of her life. Love was just one of the things she wanted – she wanted the opportunity to visit foreign countries and use her degree. She wanted to spend time with her sisters and see Will grow up. She wanted to be able to go to her mother with any problem, knowing the older woman would always listen and have suggestions. Eli, without a doubt, made her incredibly happy – but was it enough? Was _he_ enough?

"What're you thinking?" Eli asked.

"Just… how happy we'll be together. How much I love you." She wasn't sure why she couldn't tell him the truth. Grace was certain if she told him what she was really thinking Eli might be upset with her. He was planning their future together and she was still deciding if it was a future she even wanted.

Her answer satisfied Eli and they went back to telling her what life was like in New York. She listened to him, captivated by the passion in his voice, as he begin to give her details about what her new life would hold.

Their plane was scheduled to board at two that afternoon, so Eli and Grace met their family were an early lunch at Jake's restaurant. They'd only been out of bed an hour or so. After they'd finished talking, Grace had asked him to make love to her. He'd complied, making the slowest, sweetest love to her he could. He could feel something was wrong, even if she wasn't talking about it, and Eli only wanted to make her feel better.

She laughed and smiled through the dinner with their family, quietly saying goodbye to each one of them. He knew this was hard for her, but something didn't feel right. Their bags were packed, her things were boxed away, and they were getting ready to start a new life together.

The day before Rick had given him his grandmother's engagement ring. His father wanted to know how serious he was about Grace – was she _the one_? When Eli had said she was, he'd slid the red velvet box across the restaurant table to him. While he'd never considered marriage until that point, now it was all he could think about. He wanted the moment to be perfect, but it was only a matter of time.

After lunch their family accompanied them to O'Hare. Grace and Lily were hanging on to each other with Zoë and Jessie following close behind. Eli hung back with his dad and Will, making small talk. Finally, they were allowed to enter the boarding area. Eli said his goodbyes quickly, hugging each person once. He stood back and waited for Grace to finish her conversations and say goodbye to their family. He could see the sadness in her.

When she joined him, he looked down at her. He could see the distress in her eyes – was this even what she wanted? Eli couldn't be sure. "Do you want this?"

She nodded.

"Grace, don't do this because it's what I want… I only want your happiness. If we get there and you're miserable, there's no point."

"I want to be with you."

He ran the back of his hand against her cheek. "This doesn't have to be the only way. We'll work something else out."

Her brown head shook, disagreeing with him. "Your life is there, Eli. Your work. It's where you are and I want to be with you."

"Grace" he sighed. Leaning down, he kissed her. He could taste the salt from her tears and it only pushed him harder. His arms wrapped around her back, crushing her body to his. When he broke away, Eli left a trail of kisses up to her ear. "You don't have to do this."

"Eli."

Pulling back, he took her hands in his. The busy airport faded around them as Eli stared at her intently. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes."

"And I want more than anything to be with you. You know that, too?"

"Yes."

"Then you should understand why I'm going to do what I'm going to do." He dropped her hands and stepped back.

Grace watched as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small red box. "Eli—" she began, but he silenced her with one look. He reached for her hand, and she gave it to him.

His hands were shaking badly and he was nervous. This wasn't how he planned on doing this at all. "Grace Manning, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that what you want?"

Mutely, she nodded. Tears streaked down her face.

Eli let go of her left hand and reached for the right. He slipped the ring onto the third finger and brought the hand up to his lips for a kiss. "I want this too, Grace."

She looked down, confused. Wasn't it supposed to go on the other hand? "Eli," she started.

"No," he cut her off. "I'm not going to let you make this sacrifice. I shouldn't have asked you to come, Grace. I thought it could work, I thought you'd be okay, but I see now that you're not."

"I _will_ be okay," she told him. "I'll get over moving, Eli. It doesn't matter right now. I just want to be with you."

"I know." Stepping forward, he brought her body back into his for a hug. "I love you, don't forget that, okay?"

"Okay."

"I want you to stay here with our family, okay? I'll come back for you."

"Eli, no."

"Yes" he insisted. "This is your life, your home. You shouldn't have to leave it."

"Eli."

He silenced her with a kiss. "I love you. Please believe me. I'll come home to you soon."

Grace knew he was decided and nothing she could do would change his mind. There were doubts eating away at her, but she wouldn't let them bother her. At least not now. "I love you."

"I'll be back soon," he vowed.

_Flight 265 to Kennedy International Airport is now boarding. All passengers in first class and business class, please board now._

"That's you," she said. Grace hugged him fiercely before kissing him. "Thank you."

He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, trying to memorize the feel of it. Eli knew it would take a few months to get everything wrapped up in New York, but she would be here waiting for him. He wouldn't screw this up again, he would be back. "I'll see you soon."

She stepped backward, holding his hand as long as she could. When they broke contract, Grace exhaled sharply. Eli backed away from her slowly, never breaking eye contact. She stood rooted in one spot for a long time, her eyes glued to the door he'd disappeared into.

Finally, Grace pulled out her cell phone and dialed. "Mom" she asked. "Can you come back to the airport? Thanks."

Twenty minutes later, Grace Manning finally broke down in the comfort of her mother's arms. It wasn't until that moment that Lily realized how much her daughter loved her stepson. "Let me take you home, Grace."

"Can't" she sniffled. "Home just left for New York."

Her mother tightened her arms around her and started leading her away from Eli. Walking out of the airport was the longest walk of Grace's life.

_A/N: Don't hate me! It had to be done. The next part will be the last. I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I've loved writing this. I /should/ have the next part up within a week, as long as my life doesn't explode around me._


	10. Lonely No More

_for Donna, who supports me no matter what ship I'm sailing_

This is it… I really hope it was worth the wait. I want to thank everyone who's taken the time to read and reply. Writing E/G for the first time has been an incredible experience and a lot of fun. It was nice to feel inspired again. Thanks to all of you, again. You made it worth it. -clw

* * *

**Part X: Lonely No More**

As soon as they walked through the gates of O'Hare International, Grace looked over at her mentor and smiled. "We're home."

Doctor Novak nodded, "We are. Did you enjoy your excavation?"

"Yes," she allowed herself to think briefly of the time they spent in Australia. Grace suspected it would be her last dig for a long time. The brunette opened her messenger bag and carefully removed a portfolio packet. "I wanted to wait until we landed before I gave this to you."

The professor raised an eyebrow. "Your thesis?" she questioned. It was highly unusual for a student – even a student as skilled as Grace Manning – to turn a thesis in well over a month early. "It's finished? Or do you want me to revise it?"

"It's finished." Grace opened the first page of the packet and removed a sheet of paper. "And this is a request to have the rest of the semester off."

"What?"

"Dr. Novak, it's been an honor to work under you, but I have a pressing personal matter I must see to now."

The older woman studied her protégé, confused. "So… you're quitting? Is this a letter of resignation?"

"Possibly," Grace answered. "I'm not sure of my plans yet. I'll know more at graduation, but if you can't hold a position for me until then, I understand."

"I'm not quite sure I understand." The professor motioned to a small café with some tables. "Can we sit and discuss this, at least?"

The younger woman hesitated. She wanted to see her family before she had to leave again. However, Grace wouldn't be unkind – Dr. Novak made provisions for her like no other professor. She at least owed her an explanation. "Okay."

"How long have you been planning on leaving?" she asked Grace.

The brunette shrugged. "It's always been a possibility. Things changed, I changed, over the holiday a few months ago. My life changed and at the time I felt I couldn't see those changes through. I had too many dreams, too many loose ends that needed to be tied, and I couldn't follow my heart. My thesis and completing my degree was the last of what I needed to do."

"Months." The professor frowned. "You've been thinking of this for months, and you didn't breathe a word of it to me?"

"It didn't seem fitting. You're my professor and while we have a professional friendship, I didn't think you'd want to be bothered with the mundane details of my Christmas holiday."

"Grace, you and I both know we have more than a 'professional friendship.' We're colleagues, and friends, and have been since the moment you became my assistant two years ago. You're one of the most talented anthropologists I've trained and you have a bright future ahead of you."

"How was I supposed to tell you I didn't want that future any longer?" Grace questioned. "You've always looked after me and I didn't want to let you down. What would you think if I told you I almost didn't return for this semester? That when we left for Australia, I nearly boarded a plane bound for New York? I respect you, Dr. Novak, but this isn't something I'm sure I want anymore."

"Then what do you want?"

The younger woman sighed heavily. That was a question she didn't know the answer to. The easy answer was Eli, but there had to be something more. "Have you ever been in love?"

The professor raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Love? That's what this is about?"

Grace nodded, slightly embarrassed. "We… I, uh, you see…" she trailed off. Her brown eyes closed and she took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "My boyfriend works for Sony Records in New York and I want to go be with him."

"This is about a boy?" Dr. Novak frowned, suddenly finding the woman before her a little less impressive. "Your future, your whole future is in front of you, and you're throwing it away over some boy?"

"I'm not throwing it away. Staying in Chicago in January was the hardest decision I ever made. This degree is important to me and so is my future. There's a place in my life for all of my dreams, but right now I have to make a place for Eli." Grace stood and began buttoning her coat again. "I've been offered a job lecturing by the University of Chicago and I've also been accepted into Northwestern's doctoral program. I have options here, but I always have options in New York. Why can't I get my doctorate at NYU?"

"Grace," the professor interrupted, "I want to apologize. It's not my place to judge you and I think I forgot that."

"Thank you for the opportunities you've given me over the last three years. I consider you a mentor and a friend and I'm grateful to have worked with you. You should know that Eli would never allow me to walk away from my dreams. If he would, I'd be in New York with him right now. I'll be back to receive my degree in May and we'll have made some decisions about the future. If you can hold the position until then, then I'm grateful. If not, then I understand." The brunette leaned over and hugged the older woman. "I need to go. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow afternoon and I want to see my family before. I'll be in touch."

"Good luck, Ms. Manning. I look forward to hearing about your future." The anthropology professor sat quietly, lost in thought as her student moved on with her life. After much thought, she reached for the clear portfolio Grace had given her. Pushing aside the enclosed note, Dr. Novak began reading about the effects of British imperialism on the Aborigine culture in Australia.

* * *

Six months ago, Grace was certain she would have scoffed at someone who suggested she'd be here now. Before Christmas, a chance at this life was never a possibility. Eli was nearly a thousand miles away and (as far she was concerned) out of her life for good. She was still a bit amazed at how quickly things went for them.

At the moment she was standing on the street in front of Eli's New York home. He lived in a brownstone owned by an elderly, retired woman. Grace met her on her first trip east, but she was doubtful the landlady would remember her. To be honest, Grace wished she could forget that visit. The flight back to Chicago and subsequent months were some of the hardest of her life. Getting over Eli Sammler wasn't an easy task and not something she wanted to do.

Which made taking the first step towards the brownstone even harder. What if she knocked and another busty redhead answered? The brunette wasn't certain that wouldn't be the case. Yes, they'd talked this time – Eli was committed to her this time, but because of past experience there would always be a thought lingering for her. Now she needed to take that first step and talk to him. She needed to see him.

The landlady, Mrs. Kirkland, didn't remember her. Luckily, Eli was home so she led her to the door and left quietly. Grace stood, still unsure of what to do. She hadn't been announced, so she could still turn and flee. He would never know… at least until he called, looking for her and someone told him she was in New York. The best thing she could do was knock.

After her first, quick knock Grace waited patiently. There wasn't any sound coming from inside and she thought maybe Mrs. Kirkland was mistaken. Eli would have answered by now, right? A few more moments of silence led her to the conclusion that he wasn't there. Grace pushed her disappointment down – all of these doubts would go away if she could just _see_ him. Glancing down at her watch, she decided it was still early and he could still be working. She'd do some window-shopping down Fifth Avenue, and then call him later.

"Grace?"

She looked up and he was standing in the open doorway. He was wearing baggy gray sweats matched with a black t-shirt. Grace noticed his feet were bare and his hair was wet. Her face reddened when she put it all together. "You were in the shower."

"Yes," he answered. Eli shifted so he was leaning against the door jam. "Not that I'm not thrilled to see you, but what're you doing here?"

The brunette frowned, suddenly wondering if he was alone in the apartment. "Is it a bad time?" She looked around him and asked, "Do you have guests?"

"No." He stepped back and held the door for her. "Come in. I wasn't expecting you, is all. We just talked a few nights ago and you didn't mention coming."

Grace stood in front of him, unsure of what to do. "I decided it the night I left Australia. We haven't talked since then."

"But you didn't call—"

"I can leave, if you want." She crossed her arms defensively. "If it's inconvenient, I can get a hotel."

Eli's face immediately changed. "No. I'm not saying that." His eyes dropped to the floor and he exhaled. "Let's start over. I'm glad you're here." Stepping forward, he took her in his arms. She still fit perfectly in his arms. "I missed you."

She pressed a light kiss to his shoulder, finally feeling complete. "I missed you too. I got tired of waiting and I needed to see you."

"Is everything okay?" He stepped back, but didn't lose the connection between them. "Things at home, at school? Did something happen?"

"Everything's fine. I'm so restless without you and I was being counterproductive. The only thing that was really keeping me there was the dig in Australia. It's finished now, so I came as soon as I could."

"What about the rest of the semester? You don't graduate for another two months."

The brunette shook her head. "I'm finished. I handed my thesis in early. If Dr. Novak thinks it needs to be revised again, she'll let me know. If not, then I'll have my Masters soon."

Eli leaned forward and kissed her lips. "That's awesome, Grace! I'm excited for you."

And he was, she could tell. He was smiling and his eyes were shining with love. "I just… I wanted to be with you. I needed to see you and find out where things stand between us."

"What do you mean? We both know where things stand."

Grace took his hand and led him to the couch. They sat down facing each other. "Is this permanent, Eli? Are we together?"

"Yes." He squeezed her hand trying to reassure her. "I love you. You know that, right?"

She nodded. "I know. I just… I've been offered a job teaching in Chicago and I've been accepted into several doctoral programs around the country. Including NYU. I have some options to look at, but I know I want to be where you are."

"You didn't tell me you applied to NYU."

"I didn't think I'd get in. My application was submitted kind of late. I applied online a few days after you left for New York."

"And you didn't mention it?" Eli questioned. "That's kind of… big."

"It was a long shot," she explained. "I didn't think about it enough to mention it. Mom got the letter while I was abroad. I decided to tell you in person. Eli, I know you love it here and that it's a part of you. I won't take that away from you."

"I love Chicago—"

She pressed her fingers to his lips, stopping any further words. "Relationships are about compromise. I know in my heart you would move to Chicago if I asked you too. That's enough for me. We don't have to decide now, Eli. The earliest I have to answer any of these offers are May. Whatever we do next, we need to make the decision together. I don't want to be away from you."

"And our family?"

"It's a two hour flight," Grace reasoned. "They want us happy and they'll support whatever we decide."

He smiled at her. "You've thought of everything, haven't you?"

"Everything but one thing…" she paused, searching his face. He loved her and she had to trust that. "Is this what you want? If it isn't, then all of these decisions are pointless."

"Grace," he breathed. He cupped her face between his hands and looked intently at her. "Do you believe me when I say I love you?"

She nodded.

"Do you trust me?"

Again, she nodded.

"Then you should know the answer to that question."

"I do," she told him. "I was giving you an out."

"I don't want one."

"No?" she asked, wanting him to be sure.

"Not now, not ever." He kissed her again, taking his time and tasting the sweet crevice that was her mouth. "I…I know I can live without you, Grace Manning, but I don't want to. I don't want to be alone any more. I want you to be part of my life."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"That's what I want too," she told him. "I want you. In New York, in Chicago, in Los Angeles. In Paris, if that's where we end up. I know everything will be okay as long as we're okay."

"I know that too."

Eli stood suddenly, and offered her his hand. Grace looked up at him, curiously, and asked, "What? Where are we going?"

"Take my hand, Grace."

She did without hesitation. Eli pulled her up and led her toward the door. He pushed her bag aside and held out her purse. "Eli?"

"Trust me."

The brunette studied him for a moment, before she nodded. "Okay."

When they left the brownstone, Grace still didn't know where they were going. Her hand was tucked firmly inside of Eli's and she knew he wanted to surprise her. She found that take those first few steps with him were the hardest – it was like walking around a corner and not knowing what was one the other side. But as they walked further and further away from his home, her steps became easier. Grace knew he would never intentionally put her in danger.

Fifteen minutes later they arrived at their destination. Her eyes widened in surprise, but Grace couldn't stop a smile from coming to her face. In front of her was the sprawling campus of New York University. "Eli—"

He looked down at her, affection shining in his eyes. "I thought we should at least explore our options. This seemed to be the best way to start."

The brunette nodded, suddenly overcome with emotion. "I don't know what to say."

Eli put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his body. "You don't have to say anything. It's enough that you're here."

Grace turned her face into his shoulder and smiled. It was the first time in months she felt completely free and happy. She knew it was because of him. "I do have to say one thing."

"What's that?"

"I love you, Eli Sammler."

_Title Credit: Rob Thomas' _Lonely No More

**-finis-**


End file.
